Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in reach countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem . Provide specific reason and examples to support your answer.

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Nowadays, the population of almost all countries is
signigicantly
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significantly
increasing
weight
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in weight
show examples
. And at the time, some
people
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are looking for the reason for
this
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and a number of
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solution
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solutions
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to
this
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problem. These days, the average weight of the population in many countries is high and increasing significantly. And there are
also
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, a large number of
people
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suffering from
this
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issue.
This
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orign
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origin
of
this
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issue is that,
Firstly
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, almost most
people
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do not engage in regular physical
avtivity
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activity
or fitness. If they do less than 3 hours of physical activity or do fitness every week, their
weigth
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weight
will increase day by day.
As a result
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, they look ugly from
outside
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the outside
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.
Secondly
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, all
people
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prefer to eat fast
food
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instead
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of eating home-
cookek
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cooked
vegetable dishes. And they consider fast
food
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as a
food
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in every life. But
this
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is not the case.  If we come to the
solution
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of
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to
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this
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problem, the first
solution
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is to limit the sale of fast
food
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worldwide and replace it with healthy vegetable dishes. The second
solution
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is to organize physical activity and fitness
competition
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competitions
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in the region and city. And it is necessary to attract
people
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from 7-70 years old to these
competetitions
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competitions
. It is necessary to organize various valuable prizes for the winner of the competition. In conclusion, governments should focus on encouraging
people
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to engage in sports that promote health.

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coherence and cohesion
Reorganize your introduction to clearly state the problem of obesity and outline the subsequent solutions you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Use cohesive devices to connect your ideas more smoothly. For example, using transitions like 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' can help guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points on the dangers of fast food and the benefits of physical activity. This will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Check for spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'signigicantly' instead of 'significantly' and 'orign' instead of 'origin,' to improve clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
You have identified a significant issue affecting many countries, making your essay relevant and engaging.
coherence and cohesion
Your suggested solutions are practical and can be easily understood, which is a key aspect of effective writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced diet
  • lean proteins
  • whole grains
  • recreational facilities
  • community fitness programs
  • campaigns
  • marketing
  • high-calorie foods
  • sugary drinks
  • health education programs
  • nutritional counseling
  • medical interventions
  • food deserts
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian-friendly streets
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