IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the number of people who had weekly hospital
admissions
Use synonyms
 for five hospitals, located in Europe over the period time between 2004 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, throughout the period -Bardley, Adin, and Stanton- had the most
admissions
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Adin had the least, FortSmith
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fluctuation over the period. Oxley was a dramatic decrease from 2004 to 2018, and in the final year rose (just over 100
admissions
Use synonyms
).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, FortSmith's experience remained stable
over
Change preposition
for over
show examples
 40 years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, all other three countries experienced increasing in weekly hospital
admissions
Use synonyms
. Bardelly had started from 200 in 2004 and peaked at well over 250, which was the highest one.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Aden was a significant increase, where it started at just over 100 and reached 250
admissions
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
 one increasing over the year was Stanton.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words admissions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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