IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree with this idea?

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The
Correct article usage
Car
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car
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
 are
major
Add an article
a major
the major
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 problem for society,some of them cause deaths and injuries.Most people believe that imposing harsh punishment may reduce bad results.Alternative individuals
emphasizes
Change the verb form
emphasize
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 that the roads consist of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 and
road
Use synonyms
 signage.
This
Linking Words
 essay indicates that stricter fines are crucial but those are not one way to
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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road
Use synonyms
 safety.
First
Change the article
The first
show examples
 argument is
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 stricter punishments indeed act as a deterrent
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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declining
the
Correct article usage
apply
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reckless
drivers
Use synonyms
,avoiding the usage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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alcohol when
drivers
Use synonyms
 manage the
car
Use synonyms
 and so on.The government always tries to implement harsh methods in the case of encounter
car
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
 on the
road
Use synonyms
.The prevalence of the deaths
due to
Linking Words
car
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
force
Change the verb form
forces
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 the state to
accepts
Wrong verb form
accept
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 strict decisions.
For instance
Linking Words
,in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Singapore
Add a comma
Singapore,
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 the inhabitants
are suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
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 long sentences time
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vehicle
accidents
Use synonyms
 by the government.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 decision
cause
Change the form of the verb
caused
show examples
 to
improving
Replace the word
improvement
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 welfare of the ways.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 fact demonstrates that poor
road
Use synonyms
 conditions
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 lack of
traffic
Use synonyms
 signages,poor
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 and limited area for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pedestrians'
movements
Fix the agreement mistake
movement
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.Those indeed are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 reasons for the widespread
of
Change preposition
apply
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traffic
Use synonyms
 issues.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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 most
drivers
Use synonyms
 complain about
catching
Verb problem
getting
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 their
traffic
Use synonyms
 license
instead
Linking Words
 of the
accidents
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 why the state engages to accept appropriate rules for
drivers
Use synonyms
.Including
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
,installing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new technological tools like
measure
Change the verb form
measuring
show examples
 the speed limit,increasing the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
signages on the way and so on.
According to
Linking Words
 one survey,a rich
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 causes better
road
Use synonyms
 conditions which
drivers
Use synonyms
 aware
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 rules and
decline
Correct subject-verb agreement
declines
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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injuries rather than bad
car
Use synonyms
 incidents. In conclusion,punishments
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 driving
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
 are
unavoidable
Add an article
the unavoidable
an unavoidable
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to tackling
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the rich
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 can foster better safety on the way.The increasing
also
Linking Words
traffic
Use synonyms
 signage and technological tools meet
pleasure
Correct article usage
the pleasure
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
drivers
Use synonyms
 who
afraid
Add a missing verb
are afraid
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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losing
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
license
Fix the agreement mistake
licenses
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay really
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that each good steps have
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
 on the welfare of the
road
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your main arguments by introducing clear topic sentences for each paragraph, which summarize the point you are making in that paragraph.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear stance on the topic as well as outlines the key points that will be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Include more specific and detailed examples from real-world situations to substantiate your claims, making them more relevant and persuasive.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument—stricter punishments and the importance of road infrastructure.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of linking words and phrases shows an attempt to connect ideas, which helps maintain a flow in your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • driving offenses
  • road safety
  • deterrent
  • reckless driving
  • educational programs
  • law enforcement
  • consequences
  • infrastructure
  • public transportation
  • vehicle safety standards
  • substance abuse
  • traffic laws
  • dangerous driving habits
  • long-term effectiveness
What to do next:
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