Some people believe that schools should only teach children’s subjects which are beneficial to their future career and therefore other subjects such as music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There is no denying the fact that education plays a crucial role in children's lives.

While

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some believe that schools should focus only on

subjects

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essential for future careers, ignoring areas like art and

sports

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, others argue that a well-rounded education is more beneficial. In my opinion, a balanced curriculum that includes both academic and creative

subjects

Use synonyms

is the most effective approach.

To begin

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with, schools are often perceived as dull and rigid environments by students.

This

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is because young people naturally have high energy levels, and

subjects

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like economics or physics may feel abstract and unengaging.

Moreover

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, focusing exclusively on academic

subjects

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can be mentally exhausting, leading to burnout.

For instance

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, a student who spends all their time studying science may achieve high grades but at the cost of their mental well-being. Without opportunities to engage in creative or physical activities, they are more likely to experience stress and anxiety.

Additionally

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, incorporating

subjects

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such

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as art and

sports

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can indirectly benefit students in their future careers.

While

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the left hemisphere of the brain is responsible for logical and analytical thinking, creativity and problem-solving skills—essential for fields like medicine and criminal investigation—are linked to the right hemisphere. These abilities are best developed through artistic activities

such

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as music and painting.

Furthermore

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sports

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not only provide a break from academics but

also

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help develop crucial life skills.

For example

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, team-based

sports

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like football enhance communication, teamwork, and leadership—skills that are valuable in both personal and professional life.

To conclude

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although

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some argue that schools should prioritize academic

subjects

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, I believe that reducing or removing creative and physical education would be detrimental. A well-balanced curriculum that includes both intellectual and recreational

subjects

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not only enhances academic performance but

also

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equips students with essential life skills.

hf87654Fri Mar 14 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments, particularly in the main body.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure clear transitions between points to enhance the flow of ideas. For instance, the link between creativity and left/right brain activities could be more explicitly stated.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear and well-rounded argument, balancing the importance of academic and creative subjects effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Strong introduction and conclusion that frame the argument well, providing clarity and direction to the essay.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Some people believe that schools should only teach children’s subjects which are beneficial to their future career and therefore other subjects such as music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many countries spend alot of money to make bicycles easier.Why? Is it the best solution for transport problems?

Disruptive school children have negative influence on others. students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree with this view

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?”