It is the government's responsibility to provide financial support to old people after they retire or individuals should save money for themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is an ongoing debate whether governments should be responsible for the financial

support

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of elderly citizens or whether

people

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should take care of themselves by managing their

money

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wisely.

This

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essay will discuss both views and explain why both government

support

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and individual financial management are equally important for a secure

retirement

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. On the one hand, many believe that it is the government’s duty to financially

support

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elders after they retire because

this

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can enhance the quality of life and equality among citizens. Many older

people

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do not have their own children to

support

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them and job opportunities for elderly

people

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are limited.

Moreover

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according to

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rising

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the rising

show examples

inflation rate, the cost of living has become much higher.

As a result

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, elders might not be able to access essential necessities, affecting directly their well-being.

However

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, the governments should limit their

support

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only for crucial services and basic infrastructures

such

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as housing and healthcare services.

On the other hand

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, it is

also

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crucial for individuals to manage their

money

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wisely in order to live with desired

retirement

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People

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should be aware that when they cannot gain more

money

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, they will have to rely on their savings or past investments.

For example

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, if they want to spend extra

money

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on luxuries

such

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as special bag collections or art toys, it will be their responsibility to plan their finances effectively.

Therefore

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, personal financial management

also

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plays a vital role in the later lives after

retirement

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. Many elders can live well and travel around the world without any concerns about expenses because they already have financial stability that they have prepared since they were young, allowing them to experience and live in their own ways. In conclusion, both

support

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from the government and individuals' financial management are equally crucial for having a good life after

retirement

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While

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governments should

support

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their

people

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to be able to afford essential services and access basic infrastructures, citizens should manage their finances wisely to ensure a secure and comfortable life.

pw.mmuiiFri Mar 14 2025

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coherence and cohesion

The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the essay's main points. However, ensuring a stronger thesis statement that clearly indicates your opinion could enhance clarity.

task achievement

While the main points are supported, incorporating more direct and specific examples would strengthen your arguments. For instance, providing statistics or specific programs could illustrate your points more powerfully.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly separate the discussion of each viewpoint for better readability. Using clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph would help highlight the main focus of each section.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is a strong point in discussing a topic with multiple perspectives.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay while reinforcing the importance of both government support and individual responsibility, providing closure to the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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It is the government's responsibility to provide financial support to old people after they retire or individuals should save money for themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

Many people argue that restaurants should be required to disclose the nutritional information of the dishes they serve. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective.

Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.