Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motor-bike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Undoubtedly, with the
amount
Change the quantifier
number

It appears that the quantifier the amount does not fit with the countable noun vehicles. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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of private vehicles
soar
Wrong verb form
soaring

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb soar. Consider changing it.

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on the roads, more and more
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

accidents
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject accidents. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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been happening nowadays.
Whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some people look upon increasing the
lowest
Correct word choice
apply

There may be an adjective issue here.

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age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for drivers as the primary solution, others refer it to
something
Change preposition
as something

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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unnecessary, as for my perspective, I am in favour of
latter
Correct article usage
the latter

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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, and the reasons will be thoroughly elaborated on as follows. Many nations' legal
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Add an article
an adult
show examples
Add an article
an adult

The noun phrase adult seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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is 18 years old,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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means authorities and scientists admit above
of 18-year-old
Correct your spelling
18 years

The words of 18-year-old seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

, individuals have
same
Add an article
the same

The noun phrase same ability seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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ability to handle
everythings
Correct your spelling
everything

If you don’t want everythings to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

by themselves
include
Wrong verb form
including

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb include. Consider changing it.

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steering. To be more specific,
grow
Wrong verb form
growing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb grow. Consider changing it.

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up
the
Change preposition
at the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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minimun
Correct your spelling
minimum

If you don’t want minimun to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for steering a
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or motorcycle might not have
huge
Add an article
a huge

The noun phrase huge positive impact seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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positive impact
to enhance
Change preposition
on enhancing

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the safety on
road
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb compare. Consider changing it.

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to the
Unites
Correct your spelling
United

The word Unites doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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States and
Tainwan
Correct your spelling
Taiwan

If you don’t want Tainwan to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, the former rules citizens should
at
Add a missing verb
be at

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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least 20 years old to drive
vihecles
Correct your spelling
vehicles

If you don’t want vihecles to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, and the latter prescribes 18 years old;
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the rate of
road
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

incidents
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does

It seems that the verb do does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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not have
Correct article usage
an obviously
show examples
Correct article usage
an obviously

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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obviously
Change the word
obvious
show examples
gap
Correct article usage
a gap

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, younger
are
Change the verb form
is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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not the vital factor
lead
Replace the word
leading

The word lead doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

accidents.
That is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is no reason to support increases
the
Change preposition
in the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
lowest
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for driving on the
road
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the report from
Military
Correct article usage
the Military

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of Transport in Taiwan,
Correct article usage
the lost
show examples
Correct article usage
the lost

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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lost
Replace the word
loss
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of concentration and drunk
drive
Replace the word
driving

The word drive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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occupied
Verb problem
were

There may be a verb use issue here.

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the most
reason
Correct word choice
common reason

There may be an adjective issue here.

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in
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

accidents in 2021,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which that

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
illustrates there is no relative about drivers'
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and safety on
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
. In conclusion,
rising
Correct your spelling
raising

The word rising doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
the minimum
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
useing
Correct your spelling
using

If you don’t want useing to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

a
vihecle
Correct your spelling
vehicle

If you don’t want vihecle to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

or scooter is not the best method to improve
road
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

safety because young people are not the biggest cause of
car
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents

It seems that accident may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and it would not bring a lot of good
effect
Change to a plural noun
effects

The singular countable noun effect follows the quantifier lot, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

show examples
.

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Task Achievement
Revise sentence structures for clarity and grammatical accuracy. For example, phrases like 'the amount of private vehicles soar on the roads' should be corrected to 'the number of private vehicles has soared on the roads'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that relates to your thesis statement and that every point made is directly supporting your argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific details and examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, rather than stating 'the rate of road incidents do not have obviously gap', specify actual statistics or findings to support your claims.
Task Achievement
You present a clear position on the issue, stating that you disagree with increasing the minimum driving age.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow of ideas, attempting to address both sides of the argument, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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