Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much influence on our personality and development than any experiences we have in our life.

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The study

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states that an individual’s natural characteristics are far more influential than experience

can

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and can

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shape people’s traits and development in their later lives.

However

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, I believe that people’s personalities are more likely to be influenced by their experiences and their parent’s parenting. The primary reason why inborn characteristics can be affected by education and work experience. School is one of the places to shape their inner traits

such

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as some individuals are selfish and uncooperative,

however

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, the school contains a variety of group work which aims students

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learn how to cooperate with others.

Moreover

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, the workplace

also

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influences people to behave

such

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as people who are waitresses and they need to treat customers politely. They understand that they need to suppress their real emotions,

otherwise

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, they will be fired by their employer.

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, parenting styles are one of the reasons that influence their natural characteristic.

This

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is because people are being taught by their parents to be polite, especially children who are born with a controlled father and mother. If their children’s behaviour upsets their parents,

then

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they will get

punishment

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punished

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by their caretakers.

Therefore

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, under

this

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circumstance, children learn to be obedient in order to reduce punishment.

For example

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, some children are born with aggressive traits,

however

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, their aggressive behaviour will decline if they are taught

with

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a high-pressure atmosphere. In conclusion, innate characteristics are not the major factor influencing their personalities, learning in school and the workplace, and parenting styles are the major factors.

rainnieckhFri Mar 14 2025

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task achievement

While your ideas are clear, some points could be better supported with more depth and explanation. Expand on your arguments by providing more examples or elaborating on how specific experiences influence personality.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next by using linking phrases and maintaining a strong theme throughout. Additionally, you might want to clarify your main points to strengthen your overall coherence.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction clearly states your position, but it could be more engaging. Consider starting with a hook to capture the reader's interest. Make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments made in the essay.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear argument regarding the influence of experiences and parenting on personality, which is a strong position to take in this discussion.

task achievement

You have successfully attempted to address different factors that influence personality development, which enriches your essay and shows your understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

nature vs. nurture debate
genetic inheritance
personality traits
behavior patterns
heritability
twins studies
malleable characteristics
upbringing
environmental influences
critical periods
language acquisition
worldview
innate traits
personal experiences
psychological development
epigenetics
adaptive behaviors
cultural imprinting
temperament
social conditioning

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Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much influence on our personality and development than any experiences we have in our life.

Your opinion

The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages?

You visited local beach and found out that there is a rubbish problem. In your letter: Describe the problem How it affects people on the beach Suggest what you want to do about them

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.