Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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With the increasing popularity of museums and art galleries, whether they should be free of charge or not has drawn much discussion amongst the general public. Personally, I am inclined to the view that the merits of charging for entry outweigh the drawbacks. One of the main reasons for charging fees is that the building and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
maintenance
costs
Use synonyms
of major museums and art galleries are tremendous. Undoubtedly,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
charging a reasonable entry fee,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help cover the cost incurred
as a result
Linking Words
of day-to-day activities
such
Linking Words
as utility bills, maintenance
costs
Use synonyms
, renovation, and staff
costs
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the
louvre
Capitalize word
Louvre
show examples
musuem
Correct your spelling
Museum
would not be able to keep current service quality to visitors If these
costs
Use synonyms
were not covered.
Consequently
Linking Words
, charging an admission fee seems very practical
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
creating better museums and galleries.
However
Linking Words
, there are downsides associated with admission fees, one of which is that some members of the community may not
afford entering
Wrong verb form
be able to enter
show examples
the facilities.
This
Linking Words
is particularly the case if poor members of society are unable to afford to visit these places. It seems a great setback if children and economically disadvantaged people are unable to benefit from the cultural experiences these venues provide. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that the benefits of an entry fee, in terms of funding maintenance and expansion outweigh the downsides
such
Linking Words
as limited access for the poor.

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Task Achievement
Expand on your main points to provide more detailed explanations and examples. This will strengthen your arguments and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider including transitional phrases or connectors to enhance the flow of your essay. This can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic, providing a strong foundation for your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You presented both sides of the argument effectively, showing a good understanding of the topic's complexities.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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