IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given line graph illustrates the change in electrical goods by ownership and
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the comparison of time spent doing housework in households in a particular country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the line graph depicts
rapidly
Correct article usage
a rapidly
show examples
 increasing
percentage
Use synonyms
 of households with electrical appliances including washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and
vaccum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 of housework per week and per household quickly decreased.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 in 1920, the rate of refrigerators was 0 and
this
Linking Words
 appliance more quickly
rocket
Wrong verb form
rocketed
show examples
 and in 1940 was 55. From 1940 to 1980 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 was 100 and until 2019
save
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 trend. In the
beginning
Add a comma
beginning,
show examples
 the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 was 40 and
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 swiftly improved by 1960 and by 1980 a little decreased. From 1980 to 2019 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of washing machine becomes gradually increased. The proportion of vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 in 1920 was 30 and by 1980 steadily boosted and was already 100 percent. From 2000 to 2019 the trend has not changed. The next is
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 of housework per week, per household. In 1920 number of
hours
Use synonyms
 per week was 50
hours
Use synonyms
 and quickly diminished by 1960. From 1960 to 2019 amount of time
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
slowly
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 down and it was approximately 10
hours
Use synonyms
 by 1920.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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