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Writing Samples
Band 6

Learning English language at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local language and, if so, how?

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There's no doubt that learning
English
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 today, more than ever
,
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apply
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 is one of the most valued skills in university and employment. Many schools tend to emphasize
English
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 more than any local
language
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, even if
this
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language
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 is spoken in the community. Some argue that it is necessary to teach them to ensure their prevalence, which I agree with, but not that their teaching should be part of compulsory education. The fundamental mission of a school will always be to best prepare its students to face life.
In addition
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, studies from the University of California indicate that learning
English
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 increases the chances of finding work by 40
percent
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per cent
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,
not to mention
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 that more than 80% of academic information, is in
English
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. The importance of learning
English
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,
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 is clearly explained by the opportunities and facilities it can open up for students later in life.
However
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, there is always room to learn a local
language
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,
for example
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, in a workshop or elective. I don't think it should be the responsibility of schools to promote a
language
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 to prevent it from disappearing. Municipalities and local authorities can do so through other measures
such
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 as cultural activities, public interventions, etc. In conclusion, the educational agenda must be guided by useful and practical standards, that aim for excellent education. In
this
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 sense,
English
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 is an indispensable tool for success.
Although
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 local languages ​​are an important part of preserving a culture, they cannot be equated with other educational learning, and it is the responsibility of other institutions to give them greater visibility.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or anecdotes to support your arguments, which can enhance the overall impact of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have a clear topic sentence and that they logically flow from one to the next to strengthen coherence.
task achievement
Consider making a more explicit connection between the importance of local languages and cultural identity to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Check your use of commas and sentence structure for clarity and flow, as some sentences may benefit from revision.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and effectively balances the importance of English with local languages.
coherence and cohesion
Good use of transition phrases that aid in the flow of the essay, making it easier to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Strong conclusion that summarizes your main points well and reiterates your position clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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