IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is irrefutable that education is a key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 enhancement and every individual
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 it from their childhood.
Therefore
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, some of the population
is thinking
Wrong verb form
thinks
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 that providing study at home is
best
Change the article
the best
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 option
while
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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 of
people
Correct article usage
the people
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 believe that
to send
Change the verb form
sending
show examples
child
Add an article
a child
the child
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in
Change preposition
to
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 school is more significant.
This
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 essay will discuss the benefits of these
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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views in upcoming paragraphs and provide
the
Correct article usage
an
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 opinion as well.
To begin
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 with, nowadays, it is becoming more common in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society that some folks are not allowing their children to send them
in
Change preposition
to
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 any institute and they conduct their classes at their home because parents want to save them from negative activities
such
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 as indulging in drugs, bad society and so on. As per the recent report of Oxford University in 2023, 40 %
Indians
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of Indians
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 giving education to their children at home
while
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 in 2020 only 20%
Indian
Change preposition
of Indian
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 dwellers
was showing
Wrong verb form
showed
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 their interest in
this
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mater
Correct your spelling
matter
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. On the flip side, schools
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
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vital
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a vital
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 role in each pupil’s life
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
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majority
Add an article
the majority
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 of the guardians like to send them
in
Change preposition
to
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 institutes
due to
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 which, over
there
Replace the word
their
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 children can get to know how to interact with others
moreover
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 they can know how to live in
society
Add an article
a society
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 which is more important as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
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 to any other knowledge.
Consequently
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, pupils get enlightenment with ease and
quick
Change the word
quickly
show examples
 with the help of classmates.
Furthermore
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, they get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to play with so many other
same aged
Add a hyphen
same-aged
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 pupils, which is very helpful to increase their physical strength. In conclusion, it is
undeniable
Add an article
an undeniable
the undeniable
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 fact that nowadays, in schools, students get
involve
Change the form of the verb
involved
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 in bad activities but
as per
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my opinion, if schools
will
Verb problem
apply
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provide a better environment
to
Change preposition
for
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 their
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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then
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 there will be no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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other place to educate
new
Correct article usage
the new
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 generation for their bright future.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your expressions.
coherence and cohesion
Break down complex ideas into simpler sentences to improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Good attempt to introduce and conclude your essay.
task achievement
Your essay covers both views effectively, which meets the task requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • cater
  • flexible schedule
  • extracurricular activities
  • safe learning environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • socialization
  • diversity awareness
  • structured environment
  • discipline
  • punctuality
  • resources and facilities
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • specialized subjects
  • experts
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