IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

he pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

he pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts depict the proportion of
time
Use synonyms
 spent on multiple activities by working adults in one country between two
years
Use synonyms
 (1958 and 2008).
Overall
Linking Words
, in both
years
Use synonyms
 people spent the highest amount of
time
Use synonyms
 working.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest percentage was
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to work in 1958 and going out in 2008. The activity that most adults spent
time
Use synonyms
 on was working in 1958 and 2008, accounting for 33% and 42%, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, sleeping came second to working with a percentage of 32% in the first year,
whereas
Linking Words
 it decreased by 7% (25%) in the second year.
Additionally
Linking Words
, people’s interest in going out declined over the fifty
years
Use synonyms
, with a proportion of 19% in 1958 and 6% in 2008.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, travel to work’s
time
Use synonyms
 increased over the fifty
years
Use synonyms
 from 2% to 8%.
In addition
Linking Words
, both relaxing at home and other interests or playing sports rose in 2008, accounting for 13% and 8%, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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