IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think the best way to improve road safety is to increase minimum legal age for driving cars and motorcycles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Transportation plays a crucial part in our daily lives.We travel from A to B with the help of
automobile
Correct article usage
an automobile
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 safety should be our first priority and should not be undermined.People say that raising
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 minimum
age
Use synonyms
 for driving will decrease accidents on
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
.In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss my disagreement
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the topic. Before we were allowed
hitting
Change the verb form
to hit
show examples
 the
road
Use synonyms
 the government
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 every country had a set of rules and regulations to follow.From
age
Use synonyms
 limit and to what Dos and
Donts
Correct your spelling
don'ts
 when driving and utilising the
road
Use synonyms
.In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 we can't drive if someone
dosn't
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 have
licence
Add an article
a licence
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, schools provide driving training to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain people
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 legal
age
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,in the Philippines only 18 years old and above can obtain
license
Add an article
a license
show examples
 from the Department of Transportation.
However
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 certain ages cannot improve the
safetyness
Correct your spelling
safety
 of using
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 because
according to
Linking Words
 the study of LTFRB who
investigate
Wrong verb form
investigated
show examples
road
Use synonyms
 accidents, most
road
Use synonyms
 incidents
were cause
Change the verb form
were caused
show examples
 by negligence and
alcohol related
Add a hyphen
alcohol-related
show examples
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
 by drivers.
In addition
Linking Words
, people with health problems and old
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 were some of them. In conclusion, most of the accidents recorded by the LTFRB increase minimum
age
Use synonyms
 limit in driving doesn't show development in
road
Use synonyms
 safety.
Thus
Linking Words
 regulatory board should impose hard punishment and increase fines
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
irresponsible drivers.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, but you could enhance it by more fully developing your ideas with specific examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the flow of your essay by using linking words and phrases effectively to connect your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more detailed information or statistics to support your arguments, especially regarding the impact of age on road safety to strengthen your points.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt directly and presents a clear position of disagreement, demonstrating critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • road safety
  • driving/riding
  • maturity
  • decision-making abilities
  • risky behavior
  • graduated driving programs
  • extended learning periods
  • strict testing
  • continuous education
  • advanced driver training
  • traffic laws enforcement
  • advanced driver-assistance systems (ADAS)
  • accidents reduction
  • statistical evidence
  • real-world examples
  • public awareness campaigns
What to do next:
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