IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some individuals believe that higher education should be funded by the government. Others, however, argue that it ohs the responsibility of individuals to fund their education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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It has increasingly become common that to compete in society, individuals are focusing on education to secure
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 future. Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe
that is
Linking Words
duty
Add an article
the duty
show examples
 of the regime to provide capital for higher studies as citizens are paying
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 for their development,
while
Linking Words
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 that it is impossible to allocate funds to everyone. So , they should manage the expense of learning
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay
wll
Correct your spelling
will
 discuss both merits and demerits with suitable arguments. To start with, there are various reasons why some proponents support that money should be arranged by
people
Use synonyms
 themselves. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is nearly impossible to fund every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 for their
futhur
Correct your spelling
further
future
 level of education as funds are limited and if these are used properly it leads to complicated common
people
Use synonyms
's lives .
Similarly
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 other areas where the regime has to focus like health services and transportation which can be neglected .
Also
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational fields like nursing and engineering
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
demands
Correct subject-verb agreement
demand
show examples
 huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of capital . On the other side , many masses have thought that it is
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
 of the nation to help students
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fund their higher education as they are providing high taxes to them and
this
Linking Words
 capital should be invested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 them .
This
Linking Words
 results in citizens
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 more educated and successful easily as they have enough knowledge which is required
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to land in dream job.
Linking Words
Similarily
Correct your spelling
Similarly
show examples
, the government will
also
Linking Words
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 as having educated
people
Use synonyms
 in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 will remove poverty and
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
 opportunities for others. To recapitulate, it is true that the regime cannot provide funds to every citizen .
However
Linking Words
, they can
also
Linking Words
 provide student
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
 at reasonable interest .
Linking Words
Similarily
Correct your spelling
Similarly
show examples
,some
indicidual
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
 who are poor will unable to support their pupils
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct spelling errors and ensure proper word choice, such as 'duty' instead of 'is duty' and 'capital' instead of 'money.'
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to improve the logical flow of your argument, such as 'however,' 'therefore,' and 'in addition.'
task achievement
Expand on your points with specific examples or facts to support your arguments; this could enhance the quality of your essay significantly.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which is important for this discussion essay format.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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