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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the informa%on by selec%ng and repor%ng the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the informa%on by selec%ng and repor%ng the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The line chart depicts how
drammatically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 three different materials
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shifted their costs from January to December in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
copper
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
 shared quite similar fluctuation trends
in contrast
Linking Words
 to significant decreases in the price of
nickel
Use synonyms
, and most rank flips
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in June and November.
Initially
Linking Words
,
zinc
Use synonyms
's cost was just one in
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
 of it
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 year;
this
Linking Words
 growth rate was
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
half of
copper
Use synonyms
's. The value of
zinc
Use synonyms
 was increased until June when its percent change was even lower than
copper
Use synonyms
's which had experienced gradual declines for the first five months.
Although
Linking Words
copper
Use synonyms
 bounced back with a stable 1% growth,
zinc
Use synonyms
 maintained its change at -0.5% before their ranks flipped again in November and ended up at between
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 1% and 2% difference from the latest month. The peak of all figures was
nickel
Use synonyms
 in January when its price was 106% of
last
Linking Words
 year, but it soon decreased steeply to -3% in June, which was
also
Linking Words
 the lowest point. After plummeting, the cost of
nickel
Use synonyms
 sustainably reduced
1
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
% until September. Ultimately, its rate of change
shift
Wrong verb form
shifted
show examples
 from negative in October to positive in November with 1% until the end, marking the lowest rank for
nickel
Use synonyms
 among the three metals.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words copper, zinc, nickel with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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