IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?

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The majority of people believe it's better to get married before the age of 30. There are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of factors that can provide for society and for the couple itself. In
this
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 essay, I will explain and tackle
this
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 situation. Back in the earlier years, being married before 30 was a must, and it was an ideal life for everyone.
Therefore
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, a
lot
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 of individuals feel pressured because of
this
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. Since the economy is changing and we can feel inflation everywhere, the idea of getting married before 30 has become less common.
For instance
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, a
lot
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 of people prefer to focus more
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
carreer
Correct your spelling
career
 development than marrying. They tried to be more independent, especially when it came to financial matters. They are trying to build themselves to become financially free before stepping into marriage.
As a result
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, a
lot
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 of them get married later in life so they can provide properly for their future family.
On the contrary
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, there are advantages when marrying early.
For example
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, a couple who wants to have a child,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can
Add a missing verb
be concieved
show examples
concieved
Correct your spelling
conceive
conceived
 immediately because of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 age. But
this
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 is not an assurance that the marriage will
last
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.
Further
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, both need to have an understanding of what marriage is all about. In conclusion, I disagree that being married at a young age should not be considered. It depends on the situation and perspective.
Thus
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, it's better to be fully mature and financially literate before starting a family so that the possibility of divorce will not happen.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific cases where people have benefited from marrying early or the consequences of delaying marriage would add depth to your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well developed. Try to connect your ideas more clearly to enhance logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
In your introduction, make a clearer statement of your position. Instead of saying 'I will explain and tackle this situation', you can directly state whether you agree or disagree with the notion mentioned in the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for small errors. For instance, 'carreer' should be 'career' and 'concieved' should be 'conceived'. These might not heavily impact clarity, but they contribute to the overall impression of your writing.
structure
You provide a clear structure to your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
argumentation
You successfully present both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view on the topic of marriage age.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fertility
  • Maternal health
  • Psychological stability
  • Social maturity
  • Economic benefits
  • Shared responsibilities
  • Ancestral customs
  • Cultural imperatives
  • Personal development
  • Career establishment
  • Societal norms
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Divorce rates
  • Life decisions
  • Subjective wellbeing
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