IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that modern inventions have brought more problems than benefits. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons to your answer, and required examples.

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I want
to begin
Linking Words
 by defining what modern
inventions
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 are, modern
inventions
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 are basically technological advancements made by
scientist
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scientists
show examples
 and
proffesionals
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professionals
 in different fields and areas of specialization, which
has
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have
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 either improved upon a previously existent concept or invented something
completly
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completely
 new. Technological
advancemt
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advances
 and new
inventions
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 have been in existence for many decades and have evolved through different generations. To say modern
inventions
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 have brought more problems than benefits would be a complete misinterpretation of facts. I am rather of the opinion that modern
inventions
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 have been more helpful to our human existence and
has
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have
show examples
 completely aided human interaction and communication.
Their
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There
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 are different modern
inventions
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 which include cars, home appliances, mobile communication devices, health tracking devices, etc. all these have in one way or
the
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apply
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other aided humans in
acheving
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achieving
 some sort of goal or task,
this
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 has
inadverterdly
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inadvertently
 improved
the
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apply
show examples
efficiency and turn around
time
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 for most of the daily
activitities
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activities
. These activities taken over by modern
inventions
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 would ordinarily have been either burdensome or
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time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
.
Lets
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Let's
Let us
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 take into consideration cars and other forms of transportation, these modern
inventions
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 have made it possible to move from point A to point B in a rather timely manner, reducing commute
time
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 to and fro different destinations. Home appliances like
your
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apply
show examples
washing machines have assisted in ensuring
cloths
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clothes
show examples
 are washed with less human interaction, thereby giving the individual the
time
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 to focus on
other task
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another task
other tasks
show examples
, mobile communication devices have come to
also
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 redefine how information travels from one location to another, giving individuals that are thousands of miles apart the ability to communicate in realtime. These are but just a few
out
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apply
show examples
of the numerous
reason
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reasons
show examples
 why modern
inventions
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 have offered more benefits than problems as stated in the argument.

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task achievement
Improve the introduction by providing a clearer thesis statement that directly answers the question.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are cohesive and follow a clear structure (e.g., using linking words to connect ideas).
task achievement
Remove spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'proffesionals' should be 'professionals', 'completly' should be 'completely', 'inadverterdly' should be 'inadvertently', 'there' should be 'their', 'acheving' should be 'achieving', 'cloths' should be 'clothes', 'to and fro' should be 'to and from').
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples of modern inventions and their impact, showing a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The writer demonstrates enthusiasm and clear opinions regarding the benefits of modern inventions, which enriches the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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