Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The importance of educating
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
about
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
show examples
is essential for the community. In
this
Linking Words
regards
Correct subject-verb agreement
regard
show examples
many people
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
that
parents
Use synonyms
are responsible for shaping their children's sense of decency,
while
Linking Words
others
rejects
Change the verb form
reject
show examples
this
Linking Words
notion and
argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
that schools
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
effectively fulfill these needs. In my opinion, both
parents
Use synonyms
and teachers play vital roles in uplifting an individual's personality.
This
Linking Words
essay will
furthe
Correct your spelling
further
elaborate on both perspectives and
thus
Linking Words
will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
Linking Words
, the first and foremost reason behind
this
Linking Words
is that
parents
Use synonyms
are always
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
for their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
, they teach them about personal hygiene and healthy habits. Toddlers often mimic their
guardians
Change to a genitive case
guardian's
guardians'
show examples
behavior
such
Linking Words
as eating style, dressing sense and facial expressions.
For example
Linking Words
, if
mother
Correct article usage
a mother
show examples
and father help each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
in their daily routine and support each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
during hard times.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
visual stimulates emotional attachment and empathy in an
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
mind, making them more respectful towards other people. One second thought,
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
of reasons drive me to consider
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
notion as well, school is the place where scholars socialize with their friends and teachers
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learn new ideas and achieve academic excellence.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, during the special lectures instructor
serves
Verb problem
provides
show examples
knowledge about good touch bed touch and sex education.
Consequently
Linking Words
, academic education helps to reduce
child related
Add a hyphen
child-related
show examples
crime and abuse. And it can
be bring
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
positive change in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. To recapitulate. Account to arguments
aforementioned
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, one reaches the conclusion that
cooperation
Correct article usage
the cooperation
show examples
of schools and
parents
Use synonyms
equally
Add a missing verb
is equally
show examples
responsible
to develop
Change preposition
for developing
show examples
individual
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
and they become ideal
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
for the community.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity and flow of ideas by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main point and that all sentences relate directly to that point.
task achievement
Proofread the essay for grammar and punctuation errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage, which can distract from your message.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points, especially in the second body paragraph where you mention schools and socialization.
content
You have effectively articulated the importance of both parents and schools in shaping a child's behavior and values.
task achievement
Your essay includes a clear opinion, indicating your viewpoint on the topic which is crucial for achieving a good score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: