IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experiences and developing soft skill is more important. Discuss both view and give ur opinion

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It is said that finishing education
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 plays
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
 method in obtaining a pleasant future.
While
Linking Words
 others argue that having enough experience is the key to success.In
tis
Correct your spelling
this
 essay,I will discuss my views on both sides and state my conclusion. I still remember those days when my parents
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 on reminding me that education is the most important to have a brighter future.In fact, they are definitely right because I can observe it nowadays.Applying for a job is
competence
Replace the word
competent
show examples
 with other employees.Employers will look at your resume and most they are seeking is an educational background.Graduating from
university
Use synonyms
 in many cases gives high value
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in line with high skills.
For instance
Linking Words
,doctors,engineers,lawyers and other professionals need academic rather than pure hand labour.These types of knowledge need years of learning and that can only be obtained through universities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,some
thougth
Correct your spelling
think
 that having a long years of exposing yourself to the skill you want is more necessary than graduating from
university
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 many succeed in
this
Linking Words
 method,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 it is not all the case.With
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years of doing things at the same time,people tend to perfection in that skill.
For example
Linking Words
,labourers like
plumber
Fix the agreement mistake
plumbers
show examples
,masonry,welders and other handy labour.These types of skills do not need to
complete
Wrong verb form
be completed
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Change preposition
in university
show examples
. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
 both have the capability to gain
a good jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good job
good jobs
show examples
 and decent pay.
However
Linking Words
, it depends on someone what they want in life or their happiness.But for me,having a good education from
university
Use synonyms
 outweighs long experience in many fields.Because if you have the knowledge you do not need
such
Linking Words
 a long exposure to master the skills.Another thing is some intellectual aspects
only
Add a missing verb
are only
show examples
 obtained from
university
Use synonyms
 and not from experience alone.

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language
Ensure to correct any spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity. For instance, 'tis' should be 'this', and 'thougth' should be 'thought'.
coherence
Work on providing clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas. For example, use phrases like 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand' more consistently to emphasize contrasts effectively.
task achievement
Try to expand on your examples to include more depth and explanation. This will improve the clarity of your ideas and the relevance of your examples in supporting your argument.
task achievement
You have clearly outlined your opinion and are aware of both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence
Your essay has a logical flow, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument, especially with the introduction and conclusion present.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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