IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to engage in the same type of work throughout their lives, while others enjoy changing the work they do. Discuss both views and provide your opinion

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In these developing economies,
work
Use synonyms
 has become
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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 part of human life to afford quality living.
This
Linking Words
 argument has generated a considerable debate about whether people should
work
Use synonyms
 in a similar field or choose various sectors throughout their
work
Use synonyms
 journey. Working at the same
job
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 will limit the opportunities to grow and explore other talents. Proponents argue that doing the same
job
Use synonyms
 for long tenure will facilitate mastery, which will boost the employee’s confidence.
This
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 will
also
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 lead to achieving
work
Use synonyms
 goals more efficiently and effectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, several jobs demand highly skilled labour which indicates that employers have to spend capital and time on newly recruited people.
For instance
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,
A
Correct article usage
apply
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long term on the
Add a hyphen
long-term on-the-job
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job
Use synonyms
 training is usually required for occupations like plumber, mechanic, technician, etcetera which can become a hurdle for employers if
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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will
Verb problem
apply
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switch jobs frequently.
Linking Words
While others
Correct word choice
Others
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 believe that sometimes doing the same
job
Use synonyms
 for the long term is not possible because some jobs can be very demanding physically.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it’s crucial to acknowledge that performing the same
job
Use synonyms
 tasks daily for the long term can result in
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of interest and focus for employees as well.
Its
Correct your spelling
It is
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also
Linking Words
 essential to explore different carers in life to make an adequate choice, which will help to grow professionally and personally. Considering both perspectives,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 evident that gaining more experience
in particular
Linking Words
 helps to grow
professional
Change the word
professionally
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 but it can become physically and mentally exhausting.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
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 necessary to pursue
the
Correct article usage
a
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 field that gives
the
Correct article usage
a
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 sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
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instead
Linking Words
 of continuing the same
job
Use synonyms
 for a whole life without exploring any other opportunities.

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas in each paragraph. Providing further explanation and examples can help strengthen your arguments and showcase your understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Use a greater variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs, which will improve the overall coherence of the essay.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion effectively.
content
Your essay presents both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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