IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Prevention is better than cure – researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

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It is argued that preventing diseases and their spread is more sensible and economical than curing them, and
is
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apply
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,
therefore
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, should be subsidized more.
Athough
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Although
 I agree with that statement, I believe
treating
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treatment
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 should not be disregarded
due to
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 several reasons. One of the strongest
argument
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arguments
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 for prioritizing prevention is its cost-effectiveness. Preventative measures,
such
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 as vaccination programs, health education, and an active lifestyle, can significantly reduce the financial burden of curing and treating.
As a result
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, the
mony
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money
 spared on medicine, the government could allocate to other fields, improving the
overall
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 quality of life. Not only do
preventing
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prevention
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 measures help to spare finances
,
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, but
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they
also
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 mitigate the influx of patients into
hospitas
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hospitals
hospital
. As more sick people arrive at hospitals and medical centres, the higher
the
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apply
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pressure on doctors and nurses, which leads to the loss of concentration and increases the probability of a mistake. Despite the undeniable pros of prioritizing preventative initiatives, I believe a balanced approach is the most effective option.
That is
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 to say, treating and curing is
also
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 essential, as it helps to rescue numerous patients who did not manage to take care of themselves.
Furthermore
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, if the
goverment
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government
 only encourages prevention,
this
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 will lead to public discontent because people will be afraid of becoming ill, which negatively affects the government's reputation. And
lastly
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, supporting
treating
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treatment
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 can positively impact medicine and improve or create new ways to prevent diseases.
For example
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, by studying and curing individuals who have cancer, scientists and doctors may discover the disease's weak points and soon have an opportunity to understand how to avoid it at
initial
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the initial
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 stages. All things considered, the disease treatment is, in fact, more costly for the government
that
Correct word choice
than
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 its prevention and is, sometimes, even less effective. Notwithstanding
this
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, I view a balanced approach, which does not prioritize any of the two methods as the most effective
due to
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 its value for science, facilitation of public satisfaction, and ethics.

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language accuracy
Ensure to check for spelling mistakes as some words such as 'Although', 'money', and 'government' were misspelled. These small errors can detract from the overall impression of your writing.
clarity
Consider rephrasing some sentences for clarity, specifically in the second paragraph, where the structure could be smoother. For example, 'As a result, the money spared on medicine, the government could allocate to other fields' could be revised for better flow.
development
Try to provide more specific examples related to why treatment is necessary as a counterpoint to strengthen your argument. You did provide one good example, but additional examples can enhance the depth of your analysis.
task response
You presented a clear position that aligns with the essay prompt, showing thoughtful engagement with the topic.
coherence
The essay has a logical progression of ideas, with each paragraph focused on a specific aspect of the argument which helps the reader to follow your reasoning.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proactive
  • preventive measures
  • lifestyle diseases
  • public health
  • healthcare expenditure
  • cost-effective
  • chronic conditions
  • early detection
  • immunization
  • health promotion
  • risk factors
  • non-communicable diseases
  • disease surveillance
  • preventive diagnostics
  • health literacy
  • universal healthcare
  • primary prevention
  • secondary prevention
  • tertiary prevention
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