IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that a holiday (vacation) should always involve doing something new and adventurous. What is your opinion about this ? Give reasons of your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience and knowledge .

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a belief that vacations should always be adventurous and exciting.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view. In my opinion, a holiday should primarily be about relaxation and quality time with family, regardless of the destination. Many people look forward to their annual breaks to escape the pressures of daily life. With increasing competition in work and education, people often feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities. Students must study harder to succeed,
while
Linking Words
 adults face stress at work.
As a result
Linking Words
,
holidays
Use synonyms
 provide an opportunity to unwind and recharge. Popular destinations
such
Linking Words
 as Italy, France, and the Maldives offer both adventurous
activities
Use synonyms
 and peaceful retreats. Many
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 choose private villas or secluded resorts for a tranquil escape from the crowds. These destinations offer not only relaxation but
also
Linking Words
 the chance to enjoy nature and indulge in
activities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as spa treatments or simple sightseeing. Adventurous
holidays
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as bungee jumping or scuba diving, can be exciting for some, but they are not suitable for everyone. For elderly individuals or families with young children, relaxing
activities
Use synonyms
 like beach
holidays
Use synonyms
 or nature walks are preferable. These
activities
Use synonyms
 allow them to recharge without the physical demands or risks associated with adventurous pursuits.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, relaxing
holidays
Use synonyms
 provide the space to reconnect with loved ones and enjoy quiet moments. In conclusion, the primary goal of a vacation is to bring happiness. Whether through thrilling
activities
Use synonyms
 or peaceful relaxation, the focus should be on personal well-being and enjoying a break from the stresses of everyday life. Ultimately, a holiday’s value lies in what makes the individual feel relaxed and content.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea. This strengthens the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
Include a couple more specific examples or anecdotes from personal experience to illustrate your points more vividly.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, which is well supported by relevant arguments.
coherence
Good use of linking words and varied sentence structures, enhancing the cohesion of the text.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: