Some people think that competition at work, at school, and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, individuals aim to be the first men/women in everything before others.
While
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some
people
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argue that
this
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action is a good form of
competition
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, others think when
people
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behave cooperatively, they are more strong.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before stating my own opinion. On the one hand, a reason for
competition
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is wanting other
people
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to praise them.
For instance
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, there may be bosses at work, teachers at school, and parents or friends in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Although
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competition
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causes a sense of jealousy, it offers a chance for inspiration.
Moreover
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, at some companies, bosses provide
this
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, adding extra money to employers’
wage
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wages
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. They believe that working separately is a critical matter to increase
effectiveness
Add an article
the effectiveness
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of
company
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the company
a company
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.
While
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competition
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has few benefits, its alternative drawbacks exist.
On the other hand
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, some experts state that
to work
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working
show examples
together is one of the best ways to attain
company’s
Correct article usage
a company’s
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goals. In that case,
people
Use synonyms
do not justify being the best and are not jealous. Even they can shift easily
each
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to each
show examples
other because of important reasons. Another reason is gaining fast results because they can overcome their difficulties together. To be together means not only working but
also
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communicating politely. In my opinion, cooperating
each
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with each
show examples
other is more beneficial than
other approach
Change the wording
another approach
other approaches
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, gaining a lot of success without difficulty.
While
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collaborating supports to make more strength, competing against each other
makes
Verb problem
causes
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a decline in efforts.  In conclusion,
this
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essay mostly agrees
Correct word choice
that coooerating
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coooerating
Correct your spelling
cooperation
has more benefits, leading easily to aims.

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Task Achievement
Clarify and expand on the main ideas presented in the essay for better comprehension.
Task Achievement
Ensure the arguments for both views are equally developed to enhance balance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider restructuring some sentences for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Task Achievement
You presented both perspectives on the topic effectively, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion well, reiterating the main theme of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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