Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities. What are the harmful effects of such violent programs on children? What are the solutions for this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

contemporary epoch, it has become increasingly common among children to imitate actions and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

of things which they acquire from different sources

such

Linking Words

TV's

Change the noun form

tvs

show examples

and computers.

However

Linking Words

, it can lead

detrimental

Change preposition

to detrimental

show examples

impacts on juveniles as they become

aggresive

Correct your spelling

aggressive

and stubborn in childhood only. To commence with, there are various impacts on children which can be caused by intense programs.

Firslty

Correct your spelling

Firstly

, they tend to obtain an

aggresive

Correct your spelling

aggressive

and dominant personality which

consequently

Linking Words

can create conflicts between family bondings.

Secondly

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

violent channels on

televisions

Fix the agreement mistake

television

show examples

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

not only influence their minds but

also

Linking Words

guide them

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

techniques to initiate brutality or assault in future.

Laslty

Correct your spelling

Lastly

, it will become a daunting task for

such

Linking Words

juvniles

Correct your spelling

juveniles

to attain success in

academis

Correct your spelling

academic

academics

and

cirriculam

Correct your spelling

curriculum

curricular

activities and

thus

Linking Words

will destroy their

overall

Linking Words

potential. To

combatt

Correct your spelling

combat

this

Linking Words

issue,certain steps can be taken by parents

such

Linking Words

as not rendering them

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

access to technological sources till they become more mature and even keeping an eye on them

while

Linking Words

they play games, watch television and go outside with friends. Meanwhile,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should regulate decisions

such

Linking Words

as, limiting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violent graphics,

banning

Correct word choice

and banning

show examples

games which

includes

Change the verb form

include

show examples

such

Linking Words

traits and

Change the article

show examples

inspection should be carried out on the makers who provide

such

Linking Words

channels and games.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

it is a challenging task to stop children

doing

Change preposition

from doing

show examples

things for their entertainment

puposes

Correct your spelling

purposes

,proper instructions by parents, teachers and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can

avail

Verb problem

enable

show examples

them to have a prosperous and peaceful lifestyle in future.

ritikathaper1Sun Mar 16 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas are well connected. This helps to improve the logical structure of your essay.

task achievement

Edit for spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, 'Firslty' should be 'Firstly', and 'juvniles' should be 'juveniles'. Such errors can distract readers from your message.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. Mentioning specific studies or statistics could strengthen your points about the effects of violent content.

task achievement

The introduction clearly states the topic and sets the context for the discussion. It is effective in engaging the reader.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion summarizes the main points and offers a hopeful outlook, which is a positive way to end the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

aggressive behavior
desensitization
anxious
empathize
social skills
skew
perception of reality
monitor
age-appropriate content
educational content
non-violent content
media literacy
critically analyze
impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do a different kind of jobs. Do you agree or disagree?
Recent times have, no doubt, witnessed an immense surge in the stress levels of humans. This phenomenon can be seen due to multifarious factors such as higher life standards and global competition. This essay intends to explain the reasons and possible remedies to curb this grave concern in the following paragraphs.
7
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Some people contend that accepting an inadequate circumstance is an advisable approach, whereas others and I believe that trying to improve may be a suitable measure because this would be more likely to receive a better quality of life.
6.5
band
Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Protecting wild animals in the 21st century is an arguable debate subject, with advocating them as a costly one. I firmly disagree that it is a responsibility to protect animal species for humans in today's world and they are a boon to get benefits to alleviate diseases.
7.5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement
Science stands as one of the paramount forces propelling human progress, and its pivotal role in shaping our world is undeniable. It is often contended that the most critical aim of science should be the advancement of human well-being, a perspective I staunchly endorse. In this essay, I will not only reaffirm the importance of science in improving people's lives but also provide a deeper exploration of the compelling arguments supporting this viewpoint.
6.5
band
The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. School should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree.
Some people believe that the purpose of education is to prepare children and students for the problems that the modern world creates rather than teaching them art and music so that they fully focus on something more useful like information technology. The fact that the art and music are not useful at all is disagreed. Analyzing developed countries care and their education system teaches about it will further prove this point.

Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities. What are the harmful effects of such violent programs on children? What are the solutions for this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do a different kind of jobs. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. School should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree.