Child obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two third of the children are obese. School have responsibility to monitor what their students are eating and amount of their exercise. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

current world, child

obesity

Use synonyms

is an increasing problem,

also

Linking Words

in developed countries

such

Linking Words

as Australia. It is believed that

schools

Use synonyms

have the

responsibility

Use synonyms

to monitor what the youngest are eating and how much they are exercising. Analysing the statement, a combined approach between parents and educational

institution

Fix the agreement mistake

institutions

show examples

is the best way to decrease

this

Linking Words

challenge. I agree with the shared

responsibility

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

obesity

Use synonyms

is a chronic disease that brings a variety of consequences to individuals, especially if they are in childhood.

For instance

Linking Words

, it is widely known that obese children have more chance to develop heart diseases, diabetes and hormone imbalance than healthy young people. Happily,

this

Linking Words

is changing with programs

such

Linking Words

as "Crunch and Sip", which Australian

schools

Use synonyms

promote fruit and vegetable consumption.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

makes it clear that encouraging students to a healthy lifestyle

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is possible to decrease child

obesity

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, parents

also

Linking Words

have the

responsibility

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

process because the youngest reflects family behaviour.

For example

Linking Words

, if guiders make consistently unhealthy choices, children are more likely to do the same.

This

Linking Words

proves the importance of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

parental influence highlighting that

schools

Use synonyms

cannot fully control the effect of negative parental modelling.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is agreed that family and educational institutions have a big role in children's health and,

due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, they need to act together. In summary, child

obesity

Use synonyms

is a big concern in our contemporary time. I totally agree with shared

responsibility

Use synonyms

, which requires a collective effort from

schools

Use synonyms

and parents.

This

Linking Words

collaborative approach is essential to solve the health of our future generations.

Marília Bortoluz RechMon Mar 17 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. While your points are valid, you could elaborate a bit more on the examples provided to strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Try to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.

coherence and cohesion

In the introduction, consider briefly outlining the main points you will discuss. This will help set the reader's expectations and improve clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Well-structured introduction and conclusion that clearly express your agreement with the statement.

task achievement

Good use of relevant examples, such as the 'Crunch and Sip' program, to support your points.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
monitor
responsibility
nutritional education
physical activity programs
collaborative effort
dietary habits
exercise routines
healthy lifestyles
tackle
structured
partnership
curriculum
reporting concerns
home-school partnership

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Many people join distance-learning program and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent times, online learning programs and study at home have increasingly become popular amongst pupils of all ages. This has made the students' lives much easier. However, like everything else, there are two sides to the picture. I partially disagree with distance learning instead of on-site learning. In this essay, I will give my reasons and also how it might be beneficial to some.
6
band
Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people argue that playing team sports provides people with more benefits as opposed to participating in individual sports. Personally, I believe that both types of sports can provide a range of benefits to people, and it depends on what benefits each individual wishes to achieve as to which sport they should choose to play.
7
band
Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cites and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?
In the era of globalization, the best occupation opportunities can be obtained in the town and centres. Therefore, a diverse range of individuals are moving there and leaving the countryside. In other words, Only old people will stay there to take care of these areas. In this essay, I will elaborate on the impact of this issue, and what we can do to solve this method.
6.5
band
The percentage of adults in urban and rural areas who engaged in four leisure activities between 1990 and 2010 is depicted in the graph below.
The provided table chart illustrates the proportion of grown-ups in city and countryside regions who engaged in different leisure pursuits, namely reading, animated play, playing, and photography between 1990 and 2010.
8.5
band
You found a problem with the item which you bought it online. Write a letter to the company manager. In your letter, you should: • describe the item • explain what the issue is • suggest what you expect the manager to do
I am writing to express my disappointment with a laptop I purchased through your online website on 1 December 2024. The product, an Apple model series number 2355628, has not been functioning as expected since day first.

Child obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two third of the children are obese. School have responsibility to monitor what their students are eating and amount of their exercise. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many people join distance-learning program and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cites and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

The percentage of adults in urban and rural areas who engaged in four leisure activities between 1990 and 2010 is depicted in the graph below.

You found a problem with the item which you bought it online. Write a letter to the company manager. In your letter, you should: • describe the item • explain what the issue is • suggest what you expect the manager to do