Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country's police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is said that

women

Use synonyms

can not become

police

Use synonyms

women

Use synonyms

should not take a majority role as

men

Use synonyms

in the army of

Use synonyms

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

. Some people think that

women

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can do everything in every

jobs

Change to a singular noun

job

show examples

if they wish to

Correct pronoun usage

do it

show examples

. From my perspective, I suppose

women

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should be judged as equal

Change preposition

show examples

men

Use synonyms

in every

aspects

Change to a singular noun

aspect

show examples

of life

because of

Change preposition

for

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

three reasons

will

Correct pronoun usage

that will

show examples

be mentioned below. There

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a number of statements supporting

women

Use synonyms

that they are not suitable for

Use synonyms

police

Add an article

the police

show examples

force

Use synonyms

or military

force

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as the

country

Use synonyms

's army.

Firstly

Linking Words

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

pepole

Correct your spelling

people

think

men

Use synonyms

have power and resilience which are stronger than

women

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, especially

Change preposition

during

show examples

female's

Change noun form

women's

show examples

periods.

This

Linking Words

reason accounts for a small quantity

Change preposition

show examples

female

employments

Fix the agreement mistake

employment

show examples

police

Use synonyms

station

Fix the agreement mistake

stations

show examples

or military

Use synonyms

force

Fix the agreement mistake

forces

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

's contribution

Change preposition

show examples

economic and political prospects in a

country

Use synonyms

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not usually justified as correctly as the efforts that they put

Change preposition

in.

show examples

In our society,

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

are recommended to take some easy jobs

such

Linking Words

officer

Fix the agreement mistake

officers

show examples

salesman

Fix the agreement mistake

salesmen

show examples

or just to be a

wifehouse

Correct your spelling

warehouse

that they can focus on taking care of the family as well.

In addition

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

seem to behave more

emotional

Change the word

emotionally

show examples

than

men

Use synonyms

in some circumstances

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can lead to

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

incorrect decisions.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, there are some arguments not

suppoting

Correct your spelling

supporting

these above statements. The first argument is

wemon

Correct your spelling

women

can play an equal role as

men

Use synonyms

owing to

women

Use synonyms

can play roles with more

detailed

Replace the word

detail

show examples

and more

psycholosical

Correct your spelling

psychological

in the

police

Use synonyms

force

Use synonyms

and military

force

Use synonyms

. These roles in the

country

Use synonyms

's army can help

women

Use synonyms

use their senses in some useful cases to detect crime.

Furthermore

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life become more

modernalized

Correct your spelling

modernised

with a variety of technological

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

that can help

women

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balance their

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

Finally

Linking Words

men

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

do the

job

Use synonyms

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

detailed

Replace the word

detail

show examples

as a chef, so that

women

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

do the

job

Use synonyms

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

more power as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

police

Use synonyms

officer

Fix the agreement mistake

officers

show examples

As a consequence

Linking Words

, I believe that modern

women

Use synonyms

globalisation

Correct article usage

the globalisation

show examples

era can do everything as long as they wish. To reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a life with more

equal

Replace the word

equality

show examples

women

Use synonyms

should be encouraged to take the

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

men

Use synonyms

that can help them overcome their

boudaries

Correct your spelling

boundaries

and

get

Verb problem

achieve

show examples

achievements in their lives.

ptkimngan90Mon Mar 17 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that all points made in the essay are well-supported with relevant examples and explanations to enhance clarity and depth.

coherence and cohesion

Strengthen the logical flow of ideas by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that they are connected smoothly.

language use

Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors as they can detract from the overall clarity of your writing.

task achievement

The essay presents both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Some valid points made regarding women's roles and capabilities in the military and police force.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country's police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Companies invest millions of dollars in advertising to persuade consumers to buy their products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages for the consumer?

How can solve environmental problem? Do you agree and disagree

In some countries, owing a home rether than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?