Some people think that children should start school at a very young age, while others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The decision behind the

age

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children

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get formal education has sparked considerable debate. Some believe that they should start as early as possible,

while

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others contend that they should be old enough to go to

school

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While

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both

perspective

Change to a plural noun

perspectives

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have merit,

this

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essay will discuss both points of view and give my own perspective. On one hand, toddlers should start

school

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early because

this

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is the optimal

age

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for learning new things. Many experts say that at

this

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stage,

children

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can absorb knowledge more easily

more easily

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apply

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compared to when they start at an older

age

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For example

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, early schooling helps

children

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develop various skills and become more advanced, allowing them to participate in academic competitions.

Moreover

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, starting

school

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very

Add an article

a very

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young

age

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enables

children

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to socialize more easily, which is essential for adapting to different environments.

In contrast

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, those who have limited social interaction may struggle to connect with others, leading to feelings of awkwardness and potential stress that could impact their mental health.

Thus

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, by getting

children

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used to interacting with peers from various backgrounds at

school

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, they will develop a stronger foundation for them to become more adaptable, confident, and tolerant.

On the other hand

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, beginning academic education later is beneficial because

children

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’s emotional and cognitive abilities will be more mature. Older

children

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are generally more prepared to manage learning demands at

school

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such

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as following rules, understanding lessons, and regulating their

emotion

Fix the agreement mistake

emotions

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and frustration during the learning process.

Furthermore

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, the ability to concentrate is crucial for studying and comprehending materials.

While

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those who

under

Add a missing verb

are under

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seven years old are still developing their motor skills, which makes it difficult for them to focus in class. In conclusion,

although

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both approaches have their own benefits, I believe that early-

age

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schooling should focus on play and socialisation to better prepare

children

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and prevent them from feeling overwhelmed when they enter formal education later.

nineband9sMon Mar 17 2025

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Task Achievement

Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and states your intention to discuss both views and provide your opinion, which is good. To strengthen it further, you could add a brief summary of the main points you will cover in your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your ideas are generally well-organized, but some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences to reinforce the main idea being discussed. Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear main idea, and then follow it up with supporting details.

Task Achievement

While your arguments are relevant, including more specific examples or statistics could enhance your points. This would make your arguments even more persuasive and help illustrate your ideas more clearly.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument regarding the age children should start school, which demonstrates a balanced understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

You have provided thoughtful reasons for each perspective related to early schooling and later schooling, showcasing an understanding of the implications of each approach.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive development
social skills
learning disabilities
natural development
family bonding
competitive edge
formal education
Scandinavian countries
academic performance
balanced approach

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Some people think that children should start school at a very young age, while others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that living and working in the city offers more opportunities for a better quality of life, while others argue that working and living in the countryside brings greater benefits. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people use distance learning programs to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and many are endangered. What are the causes of it and what measures can be taken to solve it?