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Writing Samples
Band 5

There are fewer and fewer differences between countries. People around the world may watch the same kinds of TV series, buy goods of same brands, and follow the same trends. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.

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Nowadays, the mobile phone and the Internet, groundbreaking advancements, have become the most essential part
in
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of
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 modern life. The differences between countries are getting lower through
the
Correct article usage
apply
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transparent information with social media platforms. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate pros and cons of
this
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 topic with examples down below. It is undoubtedly evident that people can acquire the fastest information from digital devices without effort,
besides
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, the most fashionable trends will show from various genres of advertisements and streaming platforms.
For example
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, individuals from several countries can watch
the
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The
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 White Lotus, one of the popular HBO series, at the same time without distance and time concerns. By
favoured
Verb problem
favouring
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this
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 advantage, we would not lose any information in case of bridging the gap between countries.
However
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, when everyone is delighted to enjoy identical dramas or foods without conscious thinking, we might lose personal taste and uniqueness.
For instance
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, in Taiwan, everyone wore the NIKE panda sports shoes when it was published, even my friend consented she did not fit it well, she bought it without hesitation because she did not want to be different.
Thus
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, if we only follow the
lastest
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latest
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 prevalence blindly without
judgement
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judgment
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, it is pitiful that we only can obey fashion trends
instead
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 of exploring our own unique
taste
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tastes
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. In conclusion,
although
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 individuals significantly benefit from following trends easily from technological improvement, it
also
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 has a dangerous risk that can cause people to lose the capability of self-assessment. As long as
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you establishe
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establishe
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established
establish
 a personal perspective, you cannot stray
in
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into
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this
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 deep digital ocean.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to articulate ideas more clearly and succinctly. Using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary can enhance clarity and expressiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure better transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas. This will help strengthen the logical structure of your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay presents relevant examples that illustrate the points made, particularly the example of the NIKE shoes and the HBO series, which help support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and the focus of the essay, effectively setting the stage for your discussion.
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