Some people believe children should have organized activities in their free time. Others believe children should decide what to do in their free time on their own. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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in recent
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years

It seems that year may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,the choice of whether or not
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should have organized
activities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in their free
time
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has become
increading
Correct your spelling
increasing
increasingly

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popular.
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some people
veiw
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view

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children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should have organized
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as
benneficial
Correct your spelling
beneficial

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,others
beileve
Correct your spelling
believe

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that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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should not.
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the latter view holds some validity,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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am more inclined to agree with the former,as the advantages of
have
Wrong verb form
having

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb have. Consider changing it.

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organized
Correct article usage
an organized

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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class overweight the associated disadvantages. those who see
chidren
Correct your spelling
children

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should arrange their schedule by themselves argue that it will increase their creativity and help their ability
of being
Replace the preposition
to be

It appears that you have used the preposition of before the verb being in this sentence. Consider using the to-infinitive form of the verb.

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independent.
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

children
Capitalize word
Children

The word children should be capitalized in this context.

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who decide what they want to do
offen
Correct your spelling
often

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become more
creativity
Replace the word
creative

The word creativity doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in the future
.some
Correct your spelling
Some

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studies said that
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

choose the things they want to spend times on it usually link with their images.
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,a
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

children
Fix the agreement mistake
child

It seems that children may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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who was keen on
disassembled
Wrong verb form
disassembling

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb disassembled. Consider changing it.

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the mobile phone and
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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model of
car
Add an article
the car
a car

The noun phrase car seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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who
become
Wrong verb form
became

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb become. Consider changing it.

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a famous engineer in his later life.
futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

If you don’t want futhermore to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

offen
Correct your spelling
often

If you don’t want offen to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

become more independent when
he
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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grow up,if
he
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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deal with
his
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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own things in
his
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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free
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

children
Capitalize word
Children

The word children should be capitalized in this context.

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will tend to solve
his
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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problem by
himself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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and
he
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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will not
rely
Add the preposition
rely on
rely upon

The phrase following the intransitive verb rely seems to be missing a preposition. Consider adding one.

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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others

It seems that other may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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so deeply.
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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would agree
the
Correct your spelling
they

The word the doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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should help
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

organized
Wrong verb form
organise

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb organized. Consider changing it.

show examples
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in their
after school
Add a hyphen
after-school

It seems that after school is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, because
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are too young to make the decision
by
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their own and
their
Replace the word
there

The word their may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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will be helpful for their future career development,which
make
Change the verb form
makes

The plural verb make does not appear to agree with the singular subject their future career development. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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it a more
advantages
Replace the word
advantageous

The word advantages doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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choice
overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are lack of judgment, they can not distinguish good and bad
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter especially in this information age. Consider adding the comma(s).

show examples
in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

information age.
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need
erder
Correct your spelling
order

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to help
their
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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plan their
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in their free
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
secendly
Correct your spelling
Secondly

If you don’t want secendly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker if. Consider removing the comma.

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if
perants
Correct your spelling
parents

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help their
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

decide what they should do ,it may give
their
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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a shortcut when
their
Change the pronoun
they

It appears that the pronoun their should not be in the possessive form. Consider changing it.

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meet some trouble in their career when they grow up.
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as many
paintist
Correct your spelling
paints

If you don’t want paintist to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

learn
paino
Correct your spelling
piano

If you don’t want paino to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

when there are litter ,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

organized
activites
Correct your spelling
activities

If you don’t want activites to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

laid a
soild
Correct your spelling
solid

If you don’t want soild to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

foundation
foor
Correct your spelling
for

If you don’t want foor to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

them to become outstanding musicians in the future. in conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

let
Wrong verb form
letting

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb let. Consider changing it.

show examples
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

plan their schedule by themselves in
the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
free
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
some benefits .
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

show examples
still
beileve
Correct your spelling
believe

If you don’t want beileve to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should have organized
activites
Correct your spelling
activities

If you don’t want activites to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

by
Add an article
an elder
show examples
elder
Fix the agreement mistake
elders

It seems that elder may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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which are more
complling
Correct your spelling
compelling

If you don’t want complling to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

than organized
by
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their own.

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language
Improve spelling and grammar. Words like 'view', 'beneficial', 'independent', 'overweight', 'creativity', 'furthermore', 'artists', 'foundation', etc., are misspelled or incorrectly used. Check to ensure proper spelling and grammatical structures.
content
Clarify and delve deeper into your points. Your arguments can be more robust and would benefit from additional examples and elaboration for clarity.
organization
Enhance transitions between paragraphs to improve flow and ensure logical progression. Consider using more linking words and phrases to improve overall coherence.
content
The writer presents a clear opinion on the topic, indicating their preference for organized activities for children. This clear stance is a strong aspect of the essay.
content
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic and making it a well-rounded discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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