IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagrams explain how concrete can be produced, starting with
cement
Use synonyms
 as the main source.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear enough that
this
Linking Words
 material comes from limestone and clay that
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 mixed before resulting in concrete. Starting from
cement
Use synonyms
 production, limestone and clay are crushed. Followed by adding powder with the purpose of
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 the production fast, it is mixed using a mixer.
Then
Linking Words
, the rotating heater is rolled with the help of fire to heat the mixture. After mixing and by the grinder, it crashed the mixed material. The final step is packing in bags before ready to be used.
Then
Linking Words
, the
cement
Use synonyms
 was added
several
Change preposition
to several
show examples
 natural chemicals. 15% of
Use synonyms
cement
Correct article usage
the cement
show examples
 is blended with sand around 25%
, water
Change preposition
of, water
show examples
 exactly 10%
, and
Change preposition
of, and
show examples
 around half of the small stones. With the help of a concrete mixer, it rotates until it
reached
Wrong verb form
reaches
show examples
 the the final step.
Finally
Linking Words
, it is ready to be used as a concrete material.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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