More and more adults are playing computer games. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative trend?

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Nowadays, the number of adults playing video

games

Use synonyms

increasing , because it is an easy way to make new friends,

as well as

Linking Words

the check prize of the

world

Use synonyms

competition

Use synonyms

in video

games

Use synonyms

. So,

this

Linking Words

trend

Use synonyms

is considered a a positive

trend

Use synonyms

as the

time

Use synonyms

that adults spend

time

Use synonyms

playing

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them

Change preposition

apply

show examples

gain money ,

spending

Verb problem

have

show examples

joyful

Correct article usage

a joyful

show examples

time

Use synonyms

, and

socializing

Wrong verb form

socialise

show examples

all over the

world

Use synonyms

. Regarding the

adults

Change to a genitive case

adult's

adults'

show examples

attraction to online

games

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

may be

due to

Linking Words

the

multi

Correct word choice

multiple

show examples

features contained in the

games

Use synonyms

, like chatting by message ,

voices

Fix the agreement mistake

voice

show examples

, and live video

games

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, these features are tools to make friends

while

Linking Words

playing , they help each other to know the tricks and tips to win the game .

For example

Linking Words

, the Tick Tock

games

Use synonyms

have all

tools

Correct article usage

the tools

show examples

to give

feedbacks

Fix the agreement mistake

feedback

show examples

or talk with

players

Use synonyms

and send gifts to support them. The other reason for the

increasing

Replace the word

increase

show examples

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

playing computer

games

Use synonyms

is the

world

Use synonyms

competition

Use synonyms

prize , it collects

players

Use synonyms

from all over the

world

Use synonyms

and the winner will receive a

money

Replace the word

monetary

show examples

giftthat

Correct your spelling

gift that

will support their future. In 2024 ,

this

Linking Words

competition

Use synonyms

was held in Saudi Arabia , above 50000 viewers attended to support their favourite

players

Use synonyms

and the winner

recieved

Correct your spelling

received

receives

one million riyals. One of the positive sides of

this

Linking Words

trend

Use synonyms

is socialising with different

players

Use synonyms

from different countries and a variety of languages .

Furthermore

Linking Words

games

Use synonyms

contain

chatting

Replace the word

chat

show examples

rooms for the

players

Use synonyms

to introduce themself and learn about each other's background.

Also

Linking Words

, meeting in international conferences or global competitions. Another advantage of

this

Linking Words

trend

Use synonyms

is gaining money by making ads for the game companies or winning a gift .

For instance

Linking Words

, the YouTube company gives salaries to the live

players

Use synonyms

who share their

games

Use synonyms

on YouTube with the highest number of viewers and subscribers. In conclusion , adult joining online

games

Use synonyms

could be

due to

Linking Words

their desire for online friendship and the number of

Use synonyms

competition

Fix the agreement mistake

competitions

show examples

on online

games

Use synonyms

that increase with

time

Use synonyms

. The benefits of

this

Linking Words

trend

Use synonyms

are having a salary

as well as

Linking Words

making different relationships with a variety of people.

amal.almutiryMon Mar 17 2025

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task achievement

Your essay presents some interesting points, but could better explore the implications of adults playing video games, both positive and negative. Consider addressing possible downsides to this trend in more detail to provide a balanced view.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction could be clearer in outlining both the reasons for the trend and stating your position clearly at the end. A more structured approach would improve the readability of your ideas and help your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Connecting your ideas with smoother transitions can enhance cohesion. Use linking phrases to show how your points relate to each other and to clarify your thought process.

task achievement

The examples provided, such as the gaming competitions and YouTube monetization, are relevant and demonstrate an understanding of the topic.

task achievement

You have made a good attempt to discuss how gaming can foster friendships and social interaction, which is a significant aspect of the phenomenon.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

348 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

immersive
stress relief
multiplayer games
online communities
cognitive challenges
mental stimulation
e-sports
socially acceptable
prestigious
purchasing power
sophisticated games
escapism
accessible
advertisements
adult demographics

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More and more adults are playing computer games. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Your opinion

The roads in major cities today are often difficult to travel on. What are the causes of this situation ? What is the solution ?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?