These days mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent days, cell phones and the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are
Wrong verb form
have been

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are. Consider changing it.

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crucial for connecting people socially. On the negative side,
it is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

community's
Change noun form
community

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations

It seems that relation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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will become less interesting.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, cellular phones and
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

internet
Add an article
the internet

The noun phrase internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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provide a number of positive impacts.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will show how the benefits
overbalance
Verb problem
outweigh

There may be a verb use issue here.

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the drawbacks. On the one hand, technological developments
change
Wrong verb form
have changed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb change. Consider changing it.

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our method of communication gradually. It is happening
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the ability of
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

things to operate beyond physical
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations

It seems that limitation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

considered
Add a missing verb
is considered

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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as
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a setback in terms of social
interaction
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

developments have altered our attentiveness for decades, so our brain slowly adapts
with
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the trend.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people tend to ignore other
presence
Fix the agreement mistake
presences

It seems that presence may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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when using a phone.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon
have
Change the verb form
has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject this phenomenon. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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affected the direct
interaction
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

quality among folks.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, gadgets and
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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offer several positive outputs in folks'
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. It is happening because our
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
interaction
Fix the agreement mistake
interactions

It seems that interaction may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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become faster than ever.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a tendency makes several things in daily life easier as we can communicate
everytime
Replace the word
every time

Everytime is not a word. Replace this with the two separate words — every time.

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and everywhere.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

helps to improve our knowledge of news which can be useful for daily conversation.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, folks can share their
knowlede
Correct your spelling
knowledge

If you don’t want knowlede to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

about
latest
Add an article
the latest

The noun phrase latest market condition seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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market
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions

It seems that condition may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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when chatting by phone.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the quality of
interaction
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will be improved.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the benefits of mobile phones and the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

overweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh

The word overweight doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the drawbacks as
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

things can be helpful in order to enhance topics in direct conversation.
Otherwise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the setbacks are easier to tackle as
human
Correct article usage
the human

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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brain will
adapts
Change the verb form
adapt

The verb adapts after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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with
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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reality.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear line of argument is followed throughout the essay. Each paragraph should flow logically from the one before it to build a cohesive argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your points. This will help to illustrate your ideas and enhance your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for grammatical accuracy and clarity. There are several grammatical errors that could be corrected to improve the overall quality of the writing.
task achievement
You have identified both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones and the internet, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic and provides a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is important for coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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