IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter give details of the camera and where you bought it explain what has happened say what you want him/her to do about it

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Gautam I am writing a letter to you about a
camera
Use synonyms
 I bought
last
Linking Words
 Sunday from your shop. As
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 remember when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 reached
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
your shop you
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 not there and you told
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your employee on the phone conversation to show me the
camera
Use synonyms
 as per my choice.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I was in
little
Add an article
a little
show examples
 hurry because I had to catch my flight within some hours
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 I was unable to check all
included
Correct article usage
the included
show examples
 stuff in the box. I checked the
camera
Use synonyms
 and paid the money.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 went to China for my important project
along with
Linking Words
 my new
camera
Use synonyms
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 I was
extermely
Correct your spelling
extremely
 happy. Moving
further
Linking Words
, you will not
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
when
Correct word choice
that when
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 opened the box to
took
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 the battery there was nothing inside the box. I felt very
embarresed
Correct your spelling
embarrassed in front
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of my staff.
Due to
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 was unable to complete my project.
This
Linking Words
 is my request to you about
missing
Correct article usage
the missing
show examples
 parts of
Use synonyms
camera
Add an article
the camera
a camera
show examples
. I am coming next month from China and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will come to your shop to get all
missing
Correct article usage
the missing
show examples
 items. Your Sincerly Gagan

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Make sure to proofread your letter for spelling and grammatical errors. For example, use 'I' instead of 'i', 'you were' instead of 'you was', and 'believe' instead of 'beleive'.
coherence
Try to organize your ideas better by separating distinct points into different paragraphs. For instance, one paragraph could focus on where you bought the camera, the next about the missing items, and the last about what you would like the representative to do.
tone
Use more formal language since this is a letter of complaint. Phrases like 'I am extremely disappointed' instead of 'you will not believe' could enhance your tone.
content
You clearly explained where you bought the camera and the urgency of your situation, which helps the reader understand your context.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • local representative
  • important items missing
  • purchase details
  • model and brand
  • missing accessories
  • inconvenience
  • use to its full extent
  • urgent request
  • partial refund
  • alternative solution
  • exchange unit
  • correct the issue
  • look forward to your prompt response
What to do next:
Look at other essays: