Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Some people believe that both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem, while others argue against this. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued that many

kids

Use synonyms

lack

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

way of living these days .

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of the population

think

Correct subject-verb agreement

thinks

show examples

that

Use synonyms

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

and

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

are in control

for

Change preposition

show examples

solving

this

Linking Words

issue .

This

Linking Words

essay agrees with the statement for two reasons and will be explained . First , children spend most of their time in

school

Use synonyms

and with their

parents

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, a leading and advising climate around them will help them achieve an outstanding lifestyle , especially that a child

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

still learning ,

gaining

Correct word choice

and gaining

show examples

knowledge from the places that the vast of their day is included

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

Correct article usage

show examples

excellent lifestyle can be gained from

school

Use synonyms

if the

school

Use synonyms

adminstiration

Correct your spelling

administration

focuses on the life of its students .

This

Linking Words

can be done by aiming to provide an environment which

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not allow junk food in any way possible .

In addition

Linking Words

, schools must concentrate on having a good amount of time for

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

learners for any kind of sport

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

This

Linking Words

will let them love doing

excersises

Correct your spelling

exercises

and keep it a goal .

Secondly

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

must be a reference for their

kids

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

many possible ways . As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Many

kids

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consider their mom or dad as an idol or someone they look up to .

Moreover

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

must respect

this

Linking Words

enormous responsibility by providing various

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and must provide

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

enivornment

Correct your spelling

environment

home

Add an article

the home

a home

show examples

This

Linking Words

can be gained by being keen on their

kids

Use synonyms

to eat healthy food

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and spend time doing activities . In conclusion ,

school

Use synonyms

and

parents

Use synonyms

are the only reference for our

kids

Use synonyms

these days . They must

acknowlege

Correct your spelling

acknowledge

this

Linking Words

responsibilty

Correct your spelling

responsibility

and give its

importancy

Correct your spelling

importance

Change preposition

show examples

many ways .

Beacuse

Correct your spelling

Because

, the future generation is in between their hands and

kids

Use synonyms

having a great lifestyle must be an objective for any mom or dad.

hussinmahmoud4456Tue Mar 18 2025

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task achievement

The introduction needs to clearly state your position, specifically whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Also, try to rephrase the question more directly in your opening statement.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main argument and includes a topic sentence. This will improve the logical flow and help the reader follow your ideas more easily.

task achievement

Add specific examples to support your points, such as mentioning specific activities or programs that schools or parents could implement to promote a healthy lifestyle.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to grammar and spelling, as some errors are present. Review your work for typos and grammatical issues to improve clarity and professionalism.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

You present valid points regarding the roles of schools and parents in promoting a healthy lifestyle.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unhealthy lifestyle
physical activities
nutritious meals
physical education classes
curriculum
workshops
societal norms
advertising
peer pressure
government policies
community programs
environment

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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Some people believe that both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem, while others argue against this. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, more and more people buy a wider range of household goods like television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think there are more pros than cons?

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many difference from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasond? do the adventages outweight disadventages?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important.

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school until they are older. (nv)