Most societies are based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they wanted, society could not function. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recently, all
develop
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developed
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contries
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countries
have
laws
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and regulations for
thier
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their
citizen to
follows
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follow
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to ensure
everyone
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everyone's
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right
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however
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there are still many
people
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thinking that they should be able to do
what ever
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whatever
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they want. I strongly agree that based on
laws
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and
rules
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will
benefits
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benefit
show examples
people
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in
socities
Correct your spelling
society
the most.
This
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essay going to address how
rules
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and
laws
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will
kept
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keep
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the
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apply
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people
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away from violence,
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and created
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created
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create
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peaceful
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peace
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and privacy.
First,
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started from a small
socitety
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society
like
house
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a house
the house
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. Every household will have
a house
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house rules
a house rule
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rules
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to ensure that each
member
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of the family has a
right
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to do
thing
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things
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that
not
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do not
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cross
others
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others'
other's
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right
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.
For example
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, my house rule is no
right
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to go into
others
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others'
other's
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room
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rooms
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with out
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without
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acception
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acceptance
this
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means each family
member
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have
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has
show examples
their own space so they know if they want to go
in
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into
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others
Correct quantifier usage
another
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member
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member's
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room they need to ask.
This
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privacy made each
of
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apply
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member
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happy.
Secondly
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,
Laws
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and
rules
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in the big picture
created
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are created
show examples
for
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to
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prevent
a
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apply
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violence and create
a peaceful
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peace
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in society.
For example
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, We have
a
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laws
a law
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laws
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for
people
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who
using
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use
show examples
Add an article
the road
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road
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roads
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,
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and car
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car
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cars
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by
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to
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limit
the
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their
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speed. If there is no speed limit
driver
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drivers
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can drive as fast as they can
this
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might cause huge
accident
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accidents
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on the road. It would not be
save
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safe
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for
people
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who using the road.
To sum up
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, I certainly agree that societies will be peaceful,
people
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will have
thier
Correct your spelling
their
privacy and to be secure in living every
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people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
in societies must comply
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laws
Change preposition
with laws
show examples
and
rules
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.

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task achievement
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating your opinion and mentioning the main points you will discuss in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your concluding statement summarizes your main argument more explicitly and reinforces your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have made a clear stance on the issue, expressing your strong agreement with the importance of laws and rules.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, such as household rules and road safety, which helps to illustrate your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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