IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some argue that schools should prioritize life skills such as working in teams and solving problems instead of traditional academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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On the ground that education is crucial for children, there has been a controversy amongst individuals regarding whether schools should raise the importance of soft
skills
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 more than hard
skills
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.
While
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 these juveniles need to be taught about academic materials, life
skills
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 are considered to be necessary for today’s workplace as well.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both opposing ideas and my own opinion
in
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that
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which
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apply
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every institution should value both knowledge equally. The advocates for the schools to prioritize soft
skills
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 might look at the
overall
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 and deeper perspective. In fact, without soft
skills
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such
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 as working under pressure and time management, it is impossible for someone to deliver their highest potential. Effective communication,
for instance
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, is necessary for a physician to liaise with the parents in choosing the best option of medication for their offspring.
On the contrary
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,
students
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 would gain knowledge, which could be used in the future, by learning academic subjects. Schools provide their
students
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 with various courses:
after
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and after
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 studying them, children might discover the subjects they prefer.
Besides
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, by knowing their specialized subjects,
students
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 would devote less effort
in
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to
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 choosing a suitable career path. From my experience in school, most
students
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 who demonstrate
a
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apply
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talent and expertise in biology tend to study and work in a biomedical field. In conclusion, I believe that soft
skills
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 and hard
skills
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 are necessary for
humans’
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human’
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 life.
Therefore
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, academies should balance and place
the
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apply
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importance
in
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on
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 both
skills
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 equivalently. Academic knowledge would help people to obtain better career opportunities by guiding individuals to
a
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apply
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proper expertise,
while
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 life
skills
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 would enhance their capabilities to work in their workplace.

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task achievement
Expand on your points with more specific examples and explanations. For instance, when discussing soft skills, consider providing more scenarios or environments where these skills are crucial.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is explicitly stated, and that all sentences in the paragraph support this idea. This will contribute to a stronger logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Although your conclusion summarizes your points, it could be more compelling by restating your position more forcefully and reiterating the importance of both skill sets in today's context.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both perspectives regarding hard and soft skills, which is essential for an IELTS task 2 response.
task achievement
The use of clear examples, like the one about the physician, adds depth to your argument about life skills, making your points relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Prioritize
  • Life skills
  • Traditional academics
  • Teamwork
  • Problem-solving
  • Holistic education
  • Real-world challenges
  • Soft skills
  • Intellectual growth
  • Balanced education
  • Comprehensive skill set
  • Core subjects
  • Vocational training
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