Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that adolescence years are the happiest years in one’s life,
while
others believe that
adulthood
is the most joyful phase to live despite having bigger
responsibilities
.
This
essay believes that,
although
adolescents
are free of
responsibilities
,
adults
enjoy their
lives
more because they are free to make their own choices. On the one hand,
adolescents
are thought to
live
Verb problem
have
show examples
the happiest moments of their
lives
because they are not asked to be responsible. Basically, a teenager
lives
with his parents, who not only provide him with shelter, food, and education, but
also
, in some cases, would try to meet his fantasies.
For instance
, in my country, teenagers are a great example of spoiled people who spend their money carelessly and always ask for more, though they do not seem to be happy.
However
, I believe that not being obliged to worry about any responsibility is not what happiness is all about, and
consequently
,
adolescents
do not live their happiest days.
On the other hand
, others see that
adulthood
is a happier phase because
adults
are free to make the choices that fit their aspirations. Having the freedom of choice will eventually be followed by achievements and a sense of self-accomplishment, which is a primary source of joy.
For example
, many
adults
in my country are happy because of the choice of career or commitment they took on their own, and they see themselves as happier than when they were teenagers.
Therefore
, I believe
adulthood
is the most enjoyable time because one can not be happy if they have to follow others’ plans even if it comes with no
responsibilities
. In conclusion, despite having no
responsibilities
on their shoulders,
adolescents
do not live the happiest moments of their
lives
.
This
essay believes that it is
adulthood
which is the most enjoyable in light of the fact that
adults
are free to make their own choices.
Submitted by durefishan4455 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay demonstrates a clear structure, but the transitional phrases between ideas could be improved for a smoother flow.
task achievement
Develop your main points more comprehensively. While your essay explains your views, expanding on your arguments with more detailed examples would enhance the depth of your discussion.
task achievement
Present examples that are more specific and directly relevant to your arguments. The examples provided in the essay are somewhat generic and could be bolstered with more detailed, specific scenarios or data.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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