IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some argue that teachers should focus on academics more than motivating students. to what extent do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a view that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
educating
students
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 academic ways is more crucial than motivating them. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
 some argue that,
motivation
Use synonyms
 can help them to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success faster,
I’m totally agree
Change the verb form
I totally agree
show examples
 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 educating them with
high-qualified
Correct your spelling
highly qualified
show examples
 experiences is
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
 impactful and desirable way to make more real results with them.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the one hand, today,
motivation
Use synonyms
 is really globalized among the young society. Especially, if there is competition between individuals, motive increases. If tutors only concentrate on academics without inspiring them, learning may become a passive process.
Motivation
Use synonyms
 helps
students
Use synonyms
 to develop curiosity,
confidence
Correct word choice
and confidence
show examples
 and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them more engaged and willing to learn.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is not
that
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 reliable tool which always encourages
students
Use synonyms
. It is better to not rely on
motivation
Use synonyms
 since it does not work well and show progress, especially, in exams with strong
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pressure, pupils can’t control their emotions.
As a result
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, they may lose
Use synonyms
motivation
Correct article usage
the motivation
show examples
 they have. Only knowledge is the key.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, academics should still be the foundation of teaching. Teachers must ensure
students
Use synonyms
 gain knowledge and academic skills.
In addition
Linking Words
, academic success is not only just about memorizing facts, but
also
Linking Words
, it
helps
Rephrase
also helps
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learners to widen
Correct pronoun usage
their horizon
show examples
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
, and involves critical thinking, tackling tough problems and a willingness to learn.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
influencing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
academic ways increases
reputation
Add an article
the reputation
show examples
 of the country and area. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 knowledgeable people always demanding in every society.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, studies have shown that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 who receive high-quality academic instruction perform better on standardized tests. In conclusion, it would be
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 approach to keep in balance both of them.
However
Linking Words
, Stronger academic instruction leads to better educational outcomes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction without ambiguity. This will strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or evidence to support your points, especially in the body paragraphs, to enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear argument and maintains a consistent position throughout.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic performance
  • motivational strategies
  • foundational understanding
  • engagement
  • dynamic learning environment
  • well-rounded students
  • long-term benefits
  • personal drive
  • educational experience
  • emotional support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: