IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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People often argue that the working week should be shortened to allow
employees
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 longer weekends. I strongly agree with
this
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 view, as it enhances mental well-being and boosts productivity. A shorter workweek significantly improves
employees
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' mental health. An extended
weekend
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 provides additional leisure
time
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, allowing workers to relax, unwind, and spend quality
time
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 with their families.
As a result
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, they can reduce stress and achieve better work-life balance.
Additionally
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,
this
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 extra
time
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 enables individuals to pursue personal interests they may have neglected
due to
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 busy schedules.
For instance
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, many people aspire to learn a musical instrument,
such
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 as the piano, from a young age.
However
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, financial constraints often prevent them from doing so. Later in life,
although
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 they may have the financial resources as working professionals, they often lack the
time
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. A longer
weekend
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 offers them the opportunity to engage in
such
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 fulfilling activities.
Moreover
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, reducing the number of working days can lead to higher productivity.
Employees
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 who work fewer days are less likely to experience burnout and are more motivated. A shorter workweek ensures they are assigned a manageable workload, preventing excessive pressure and stress.
Furthermore
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, having a longer
weekend
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 allows them ample
time
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 to recover from the previous week's work, ensuring they return refreshed and more focused. Studies have shown that well-rested
employees
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 tend to be more efficient, creative, and engaged in their tasks. In conclusion, implementing a shorter workweek with an extended
weekend
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 would greatly benefit
employees
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. It not only enhances their mental well-being but
also
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 increases productivity, making it a positive change for both workers and employers.

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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured and clearly presents your argument. However, consider providing more varied examples to enhance your points further.
coherence and cohesion
Transitions between ideas are smooth, but using more cohesive devices could improve the flow in certain sections.
task achievement
You articulately express your opinion and support it with relevant ideas and examples, demonstrating strong task response.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument and summarizing your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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