IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Today, advertising convinces us that everything new is the best. Companies use
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 strategy because people love novelty, and competition forces
businesse
Correct your spelling
businesses
business

If you don’t want businesse to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to constantly introduce something fresh. But does "new" always mean "better," or is it just a clever marketing
tricks
Correct the article-noun agreement
trick

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun tricks in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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? People are naturally drawn to improved products. A smartphone with a better camera, a smart home
gadgets
Fix the agreement mistake
gadget

It seems that gadgets may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 that saves time—these things make life more convenient. Companies take advantage of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 by creating excitement around every update, even when the differences are barely noticeable. They know that the word "new" makes products more desirable and helps them sell more. Of course,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 trend has its benefits. The race for innovation pushes businesses to invest in research and development, leading to real technological progress. Thanks to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we now have electric cars with longer battery life and smart devices that improve our daily routines. Without competition, many of these advancements might not exist.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is a downside. Sometimes, "new" is just old in different packaging. Many products change only slightly, yet companies present them as revolutionary. Consumers feel pressured to buy the latest version, even if they don’t need it.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 creates unnecessary waste, harms the environment, and promotes overconsumption In conclusion, the focus on novelty in advertising drives progress and encourages innovation.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 be misleading and push people to spend money on things they do not truly need. The best approach is to stay informed,
being
Wrong verb form
be

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb being. Consider changing it.

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 financially responsible , think critically, and make purchases based on real value rather than marketing hype.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your points, especially in the task achievement section. Examples can make your arguments more persuasive and relatable.
coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain a consistent tone throughout your essay. There were a few informal phrases that could be adjusted to fit the overall argument more academically.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all your sentences are clear and free from minor grammatical errors, such as 'tricks' instead of 'trick' in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which facilitates understanding.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexities involved in the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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