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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that books should be stopped in schools that film videos and computer should be used to what extent do you agree

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
Nowadays, some people believe that printed
books
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 should be replaced by films,
videos
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 and
computers
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 in schools.
Although
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 I agree that
technology
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 can improve the learning experience, I largely disagree with the idea of eliminating
books
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 completely because they play an important role in education.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, digital
technology
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 offers several benefits for both teachers and
students
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.
Firstly
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, educational
videos
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 can make lessons more interesting and easier to understand.
For example
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,
students
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 studying science can watch animations of the human body, which may help them understand complex processes more clearly than reading written explanations alone.
Secondly
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,
computers
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 provide quick access to a wide range of online resources, allowing
students
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 to explore topics beyond their textbooks.
Therefore
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,
technology
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 can make learning more interactive and flexible.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, I believe that
books
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 remain essential for effective learning. Reading printed materials encourages
students
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 to concentrate on information, improve their reading comprehension and develop critical thinking skills. Unlike short
videos
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,
books
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 often provide detailed explanations that help learners gain a deeper understanding of a subject.
Furthermore
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, excessive use of
computers
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 may distract
students
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 through games and social media. Spending long periods in front of screens can
also
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 cause eye strain. Another concern is that some
students
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 may not have reliable internet access or suitable devices at home, which could create inequality in education.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 films,
videos
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 and
computers
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 can make lessons more engaging and provide convenient access to information, I do not believe they should completely replace
books
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, schools should combine traditional learning materials with modern
technology
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 to provide
students
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 with a more balanced and effective education.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start: you agree that technology is useful, but you do not agree that books should be taken away. To make the answer even stronger, say more directly that schools should use both books and technology, then keep this same view in each main part.
task response
Your main ideas are well explained: videos can help students see hard ideas, while books help focus and give more detail. Add one more real or clear school example for the point about books, such as how a history book can help a student read a full account of an event.
task response
The point about some students not having good internet or computers is very useful. You could make its effect clearer by saying that these students may not be able to do the same work at home as other students.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, benefits of technology, reasons to keep books, and ending. This makes it easy to follow. Keep using one main idea at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion', guide the reader well. In a few places, you can use fewer linking words and let the ideas flow with clear sentences. For example, join the two points about computers and online resources more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
The second body part has several good points about books, screens, and equal access. Put the two screen problems together, then end the part with the equal-access point. This will make the order even clearer.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a clear opinion throughout the essay.
task response
The example of science students watching the human body is clear, on topic, and helps show why videos can support learning.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has a clear focus, and the ending returns to your main view that schools should use books and technology together.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas move in a natural order: first the good points of technology, then the reasons books are still needed.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Literacy
  • Comprehension
  • Visual learners
  • Digital tools
  • Interactive resources
  • Attention spans
  • Tactile experience
  • Annotating skills
  • Accessibility
  • Text-to-speech functionalities
  • Overexposure
  • Eye strain
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