IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Other think womens are limited on taking care of house and a kids on your opinion are you agree with this statement why? Give some example

Womens
Correct your spelling
Women
show examples
 are the
back bone
Correct your spelling
backbone
show examples
 of every part of the family,even in the hardest situations.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 my option,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 totally
diagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
agree
 with the statement because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they are not meant to only take care of
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
 and children.
they
Capitalize word
They
show examples
 are capable of doing
such
Linking Words
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 more than a men can do which will be proven in
this
Linking Words
 topic.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
womens
Correct your spelling
women
women's
 play a crucial role in every
houses
Change to a singular noun
house
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
 at
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 level,when both the family members should take responsibility for household
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
,
for instance
Linking Words
 taking care of kids
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
especially in the early stages.
Linking Words
moreover
Capitalize word
Moreover
show examples
,at the time todllers cant be left with the nannies.Sometimes
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a working parent their mindset
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
at
Change preposition
on
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 the baby.
Secondly
Linking Words
,in the aforementioned
before
Change preposition
apply
show examples
paragraph
Add a comma
paragraph,
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 some
women
Use synonyms
 might be doing a job in past due which can
be continue
Change the verb form
be continued
show examples
 by multitasking
such
Linking Words
 as doing work from home
as well as
Linking Words
 looking after the kid and
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
show examples
 work.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
mens
Correct your spelling
means
men
 can be a helping
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 by
splliting
Correct your spelling
splitting
 part of the work like from the evening men can take over the control where the
women
Use synonyms
 can get a certain amount of rest.
Thus
Linking Words
 it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 apparent that
women
Use synonyms
 are not only limited
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 looking after alone. To summarize, in everyone's
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important duty to support their family whether babysitting
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 kids or looking after the house.
Conversely
Linking Words
, to be
honest
Add a comma
honest,
show examples
 both men and
women
Use synonyms
 can Take responsibilities till the dawn and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 can rest for a
while
Linking Words
,
thus
Linking Words
 leading them
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
mutual understanding and a healthy relationship.

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Task Achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement for clarity. Clearly state your position on the topic in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words to guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a clearer understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure consistent subject-verb agreement and correct spelling to improve readability.
Content
Good effort in presenting your arguments about women's roles in the family.
Content
Your conclusion does well to summarize the main ideas presented in the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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