IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Technologies like AI and Robotics are automating many human jobs and helping to maximize company profits. However, this may result in a new wave of mass unemployment and government should step in to regulate these fields. Discuss arguments for both sides and give your opinion.

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In
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
world
Add a comma
world,
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 Artificial Intelligence is playing
significant
Add an article
a significant
the significant
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 role which
are
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is
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created by
humans
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 and mostly used in larger
companies
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 to save time and effort.
However
Linking Words
, many people may
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their
jobs
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 because of robots which will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
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by
Change preposition
with
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unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
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 rate. In the following
essay
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essay,
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 I will discuss both the statements and conclude with my opinion. To embark upon, robotics are primary resource of many large
companies
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 to make things quickly and make profits, countries like
USA
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the USA
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 and Japan
has
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have
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 adopted
this
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 type of culture
as
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due to
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 a shortage of labour.
Moreover
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, few machines are operated by
humans
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where
Correct word choice
so
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 they do not
loose
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lose
show examples
 their
jobs
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 but nowadays these are coming with fully automated as they work like
humans
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. Apart from that these
companies
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says
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say
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 that developing population and modern technology AI is the part of solution to make things better.
For example
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,
automobile
Correct article usage
the automobile
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 sector and food industries are making much money in less time which is
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 to customers and
companies
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 as well.
On the other hand
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,
population
Add an article
the population
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 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased similar to that
jobs
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 are required but robotics has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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snatched the income of
familes
Correct your spelling
families
 which is
under going
Verb problem
raising
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 as unemployment rate to control
this
Linking Words
 Government should come up with a new scheme where
humans
Use synonyms
 can have more supervision work than machines. Moving
further
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, AI is not useful in many sectors like
humanbeing
Correct your spelling
human being
human beings
, few things should be done manually.
For example
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,
companies
Use synonyms
 like Amazon and Microsoft should come up with the idea to restrict robots from manpower to save unemployment. In my opinion, manpower is more important than robotics which is
proven
Correct article usage
a proven
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 fact from our ancestors.
However
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,
Correct your spelling
companies
comapnies
Correct your spelling
company
 profits can be shared
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 staff who are operating those robots,
To conclude
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, AI may be important to save
time
Correct article usage
the time
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 and effort of mankind but it is not useful in every place and situation because it still needs human support,
thus
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jobs
Use synonyms
 should be increased.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to follow a clear essay structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are clearly developed and supported with specific examples or explanations.
general
Check for spelling and grammatical errors to improve clarity and readability.
positive
You present a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of AI and robotics.
positive
You express a clear personal opinion at the end, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Job displacement
  • Efficiency
  • Productivity
  • Economic growth
  • Income inequality
  • Reskilling
  • Workplace safety
  • Ethical concerns
  • Oversight
  • Regulation
  • Retraining
  • Social unrest
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancement
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