Nowadays more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantage?

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In recent
years
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, more individuals
choice
Wrong verb form
have chosen
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to
bring
Verb problem
have
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children later in their
life time
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lifetime
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. In my opinion,
this
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trend is more beneficial,
becasue
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because
of the change in the way of living compared to
older
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the older
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generation;
whereas
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, young adults have to study
over
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for over
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16
years
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to get a
liveable
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livable
show examples
wage.
Additionally
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,
Linking Words
this days
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this day
these days
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,
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job
Correct article usage
the job
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market
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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extremly
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extremely
competitive more than ever, which makes young adults delay the idea of marriage and children till they have a stable
job
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and salary. In
this
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essay
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essay,
show examples
I will
dicuss
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discuss
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
matters in detail.
To begin
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with, it is more challenging for the youth to have a decent
job
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without a
univeristy
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university
degree
unlike
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, unlike
show examples
the previous generation who have a
job
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without it.
For instance
Linking Words
, my father
have have
Wrong verb form
has
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a
job
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with fairly paid
wage
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wages
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with only high school certificates,
while
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I need to have a
bachelor
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bachelor's
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degree for the same
job
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title but with
less
Fix the agreement mistake
a lower
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salary. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, my generation
need
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needs
show examples
to study more and have
years
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of work
experiance
Correct your spelling
experience
so they can have
Correct article usage
a respecitful
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respecitful
Correct your spelling
respectful
amount of money to get married and create a family.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is a huge issue in the current
job
Use synonyms
market,
their
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there
show examples
is a
hug
Correct your spelling
huge
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number of unemployed individuals,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
majority of them are new graduates who could not find a
job
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specially
Replace the word
especially
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in their sector.
For example
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, my brother
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
was a new
grauduates
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graduates
graduate
in
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of
show examples
medecin
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medical
college,
find
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
a
job
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in
rural
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a rural
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area after being unemployed for three
years
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: even
thought
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though
show examples
, that he
is
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was
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a doctor he
need
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needed
show examples
long
Correct article usage
a long
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time and effort to find a
job
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in a hospital.
Therefore
Linking Words
, having
Correct article usage
a univeristy
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univeristy
Correct your spelling
university
degree
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
high demand
Add a hyphen
high-demand
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fields is not
gaurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
guaranteed
anyone to have a
job
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right immediately. In conclusion, it is clear
because of
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that in
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current
Add an article
the current
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job
Use synonyms
market and the
uncertaintly
Correct your spelling
uncertainty
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
what the future holds,
makes
Verb problem
apply
show examples
many adults decide to have children when they have
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
stable livelihood , so they can give their offspring
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
life.

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task achievement
Your introduction outlines the topic but could be clearer. Try to summarize your main points more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammar errors, as they can distract from your main ideas.
task achievement
Expand on your points in the body paragraphs to ensure they are fully developed and supported with examples.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for task response.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Delayed parenthood
  • Financial stability
  • Career development
  • Economic uncertainty
  • Fertility treatments
  • Reproductive health
  • Cultural expectations
  • Societal norms
  • Personal freedom
  • Experiential achievements
  • Childbearing age
  • Professional growth
  • Equal footing
  • Hesitant
  • Defer
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