IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people argue that acceptance of unfavourable conditions
such
Linking Words
 as
money
Correct article usage
a money
show examples
 crisis or a
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
 job is better than struggling to improve the
situation
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 we will discuss both views.
To begin
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with
Add a comma
with,
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 the first argument
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is accepting the
situation
Use synonyms
 the way it is.
Linking Words
While having
Correct word choice
Having
show examples
 a good tolerance is a positive personality trait.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it shows an individual's capability to cope with difficult situations. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, there is only one bread earner in the family of four and his salary is delayed
due to
Linking Words
 certain reasons. He chooses not to feel sad and complain about the
situation
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 he starts
on
Change preposition
apply
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thinking
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 alternatives
such
Linking Words
 as
to use
Change the verb form
using
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 his rainy day fund, lending money from a friend etc.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it shows how optimistic an individual can be in different circumstances.
On the contrary
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, tolerating bad conditions can be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a sign of weakness. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
explain
, if an individual is not satisfied with his job and
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
does not
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 any effort to change the job or to
adrdress
Correct your spelling
address
 his problem with his higher authority
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 there is
ni
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 scope
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 improvement.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, tolerating a bad
situation
Use synonyms
 makes an individual frustrated and lowers one's morale. In my opinion, raising
voice
Correct pronoun usage
your voice
show examples
 and fighting back to rise from difficult times and unacceptable conditions is proof of liveliness. One should not be afraid of taking risks and improving his circumstances.

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task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view by elaborating on each side's argument more thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of the essay by using more linking words and ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread for spelling errors and grammatical accuracy for clearer communication.
task achievement
You've presented a clear opinion in the conclusion, which is essential for a strong essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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