Some people think that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people's life and, therefore, government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued by few that

folks

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folks'

folk's

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life is not improved by arts like painting or music and authorities should stop their spending on these. But,

ethuasism

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enthusiasm

and encouragement

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are

show examples

gained from

musics

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music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

attractiveness is only created from paint if it is not given attention

then

Linking Words

lifestyle will be hard to exist on

this

Linking Words

earth.

To begin

Linking Words

with, each individual has unique qualities which are developed

Change preposition

over

show examples

time and they should be praised in

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

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of situations.

For example

Linking Words

, some painters who

draw

Wrong verb form

drew

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paintings of famous personalities were from

middle

Correct article usage

the middle

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low

Correct word choice

lower

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class. With the spending of

government

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government,

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they came to showcase

thier

Correct your spelling

their

talents. So, it is part of art that takes

someones

Change to a genitive case

someone's

show examples

occupation if authorities will not contribute to them. Moving

further

Linking Words

, some rituals or special

occations

Correct your spelling

occasions

occasion

can not be performed if songs are not sung at different times depending upon circumstances.

For instance

Linking Words

the

Change preposition

at the

show examples

national anthem or at marriage functions all these songs can be played, if they get

permotted

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permitted

promoted

by present

leaderships

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leadership

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, it is important that

this

Linking Words

type

art

Change preposition

of art

show examples

receives recognition from regulatory bodies.

To conclude

Linking Words

life

Add an article

the life

a life

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of some individuals begins

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

drawings or

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

so it should get more respect and should

be continues

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continue

show examples

towards helping those in need. As some come from low classes, the money spent by governments helps them grow.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I completely disagree with the given viewpoint.

Prabhjot Wed Mar 19 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Improve the clarity of your arguments by clearly defining your position in the introduction. A more structured approach will enhance the logical flow of your ideas.

grammar and spelling

Ensure that you use correct spelling and grammar, as inaccuracies can distract readers from your main points. Proofread your work to catch such errors.

task achievement

Provide more concrete examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and make your essay more persuasive.

task achievement

You have taken a clear stance in your essay, demonstrating a strong opinion on the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

229 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

enhance
quality of life
mental health
cultural expression
creativity
emotional relief
community cohesion
social change
raise awareness
dialogue
social injustices
economic benefits
job creation
tourism
innovation
drive economic growth
revenue
local communities
government support

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Some people think that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people's life and, therefore, government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam’’ How true do you think this statement is? What are measures can the government take to discourage people from using their cars?

More and more young people are interested in finding out about their family background and history. What are the possible reasons? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

When choosing the best candidate for a job, employers should consider personal qualities more than qualification and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?