Some people think that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people's life and, therefore, government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued by few that
folks
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folks'
folk's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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life is not improved by arts like painting or music and authorities should stop their spending on these. But,
ethuasism
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enthusiasm

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and encouragement
is
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are

It appears that the singular verb is does not agree with the plural compound subject ethuasism and encouragement. Consider changing the verb to the plural form.

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gained from
musics
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music
kinds of music
pieces of music

It appears that musics is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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as well as
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attractiveness is only created from paint if it is not given attention
then
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lifestyle will be hard to exist on
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

earth.
To begin
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with, each individual has unique qualities which are developed
by
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over

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time and they should be praised in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms

It seems that term may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of situations.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some painters who
draw
Wrong verb form
drew

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb draw. Consider changing it.

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paintings of famous personalities were from
middle
Correct article usage
the middle

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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or
low
Correct word choice
lower

There may be an adjective issue here.

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class. With the spending of
government
Add a comma
government,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase With the spending of government. Consider adding a comma.

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they came to showcase
thier
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their

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talents. So, it is part of art that takes
someones
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someone's

It appears that the word someones should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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occupation if authorities will not contribute to them. Moving
further
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, some rituals or special
occations
Correct your spelling
occasions
occasion

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can not be performed if songs are not sung at different times depending upon circumstances.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
the
Change preposition
at the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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national anthem or at marriage functions all these songs can be played, if they get
permotted
Correct your spelling
permitted
promoted

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by present
leaderships
Fix the agreement mistake
leadership

It seems that leaderships may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Thus
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, it is important that
this
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type
art
Change preposition
of art

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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receives recognition from regulatory bodies.
To conclude
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
life
Add an article
the life
a life

The noun phrase life seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of some individuals begins
from
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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drawings or
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music

It appears that musics is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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so it should get more respect and should
be continues
Change the verb form
continue

It appears that the form of the verb continues does not work with be in this sentence.

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towards helping those in need. As some come from low classes, the money spent by governments helps them grow.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I completely disagree with the given viewpoint.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your arguments by clearly defining your position in the introduction. A more structured approach will enhance the logical flow of your ideas.
grammar and spelling
Ensure that you use correct spelling and grammar, as inaccuracies can distract readers from your main points. Proofread your work to catch such errors.
task achievement
Provide more concrete examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
You have taken a clear stance in your essay, demonstrating a strong opinion on the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhance
  • quality of life
  • mental health
  • cultural expression
  • creativity
  • emotional relief
  • community cohesion
  • social change
  • raise awareness
  • dialogue
  • social injustices
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • tourism
  • innovation
  • drive economic growth
  • revenue
  • local communities
  • government support
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