IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more developing countries are expanding their tourism industries. What do you think are the reasons for this? Is it a positive development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Nowadays, the craze among the natives for travelling has increased drastically.
Moreover
Linking Words
, countries
pactively
Correct your spelling
actively
proactively
 promoting themselves and the influencers sharing their travel stories have made people influenced on how fun travelling can be, which has gradually increased the footfall of the citizens travelling to developing countries too, resulting in
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
show examples
 of tourism.
To begin
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 with,
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the past years, it has been noticeable that people
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
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 to travel
developing
Change preposition
to developing
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 nations.
For instance
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, the growth in tourism can be seen
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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such
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 as Maldives,
although
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 it was not popular,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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the government of Maldives used to connect with other governments and welcomed tourists with
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
open
arm
Fix the agreement mistake
arms
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.
Therefore
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, with their warm hospitality and famous views, Maldives is one of the current best touristy places.
This
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 boosted the nation's economy tremendously, resulting in more employment opportunities and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in infrastructure.
Secondly
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, travellers are fond of exploring different places.
Hence
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, countries try to build or showcase unique architecture or heritage.
For example
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, foreigners are attracted by the culture and food of India,
whereas
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 Vegas has built a new sphere,
due to
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 which the ratio of tourists is high.
Additionally
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, sometimes tourists prefer travelling to places with nature,
therefore
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 governments and local communities will be motivated to take extra care of the nature bodies and to implement sustainable tourism practices,
such
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 as taking on responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
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 waste management and eco-tourism initiatives.
To conclude
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,
this
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 is a
surely
Correct your spelling
purely
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 positive development as it not only boosts the economy but
also
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improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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political relations.It
also
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 brings economic growth, job creation, cultural exchange and environmental conservation, fostering sustainable development and improving the
overasll
Correct your spelling
overall
 quality of life for their citizens.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer by presenting your main argument or thesis statement more explicitly. For example, mention that the expansion of tourism has a significant impact on the economy and society of developing countries.
coherence and cohesion
Some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that outline the main point of each paragraph, which will help guide the reader better.
task achievement
You used some relevant examples, but including more specific details or data (like statistics on tourism growth) could strengthen your arguments and enhance the depth of the analysis.
task achievement
The essay addresses both questions of the task effectively, discussing reasons for the expansion of tourism in developing countries and considering its positive impacts.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes the main points and emphasizes the benefits of tourism, reinforcing your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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