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Writing Samples
Band 3

The table shows information about the number of Australian people who visited the seven most popular destinations in 1999 and 2009.

The table shows information about the number of Australian people who visited the seven most popular destinations in 1999 and 2009.
Displayed in the data table is the amount of Australian citizens who
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
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 in the seven different prevalent destination
counrtries
Correct your spelling
countries
 during a period from 1999 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, China had become the country which achieved the most
growth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the statistics of all the other countries had increased either but varied
in
Change preposition
at
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 different
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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. In 1999, China
had become
Wrong verb form
became
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 the fifth most popular destination compared to its
last
Linking Words
 position in 2009, with a
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
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 visitor increase from 86,000 to 300,000 which achieved
2.5
Correct article usage
a 2.5
show examples
 times
growth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
UK and
US
Correct article usage
the US
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 were still very popular for Australian visitors but didn't
saw
Wrong verb form
see
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an
Change the article
a
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dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
growth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
, with only
60
Correct article usage
a 60
show examples
% and 33%
growth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 respectively. Looking at the rest of the destinations, Fiji

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words growth, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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