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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after 5 years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after 5 years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 depicts the percentage of anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 working different types of jobs and the ones who are working
along-with
Correct your spelling
along with
show examples
 their studies. The tabulation
chart
Use synonyms
 represents the salary of
graduates
Use synonyms
 after working in 3 sectors (freelancers,
government
Use synonyms
 employees and private employees).
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
chart
Use synonyms
 indicates that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
areworking
Correct your spelling
are working
 full-time i.e. 52% followed by 15% of
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 workers
whereas
Linking Words
 12% of degree holders are unemployed.
However
Linking Words
, an equal percentage (8%) of full-time
post graduate
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
show examples
 and not known students is depicted in
Use synonyms
chart
Add an article
the chart
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are only 5 per cent of students
whi
Correct your spelling
who
 are working part-time and
also
Linking Words
pursing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
show examples
 their
post graduation
Add a hyphen
post-graduation
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
tabular
Add an article
the tabular
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
 shows that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 pays
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 salary
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
$100,000 plus to its 50 per cent employees
while
Linking Words
 freelancers and private companies pay
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 amount to their 40% and 30%
workers
Change preposition
of workers
show examples
 respectively. Ergo, the lowest percentage of 5 for freelancers and
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 10 for
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 falls in
category
Add an article
the category
show examples
 of $25,000 to $49,00 salary.
Overall
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
 are working full-time and
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
saliers
Correct your spelling
salaries
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 anthropologists are paid
bu
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, graduates, government, sector with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "depicts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Anthropology graduates
  • undergraduate degree
  • employment sectors
  • academic research
  • non-profit organizations
  • government agencies
  • private sector employment
  • further studies
  • unemployed
  • salary range
  • earning sectors
  • salary disparities
  • career trajectories
  • financial outcomes
  • market value
  • general employment trends
  • relative market value
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