IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

‘The best way to educate children is by using the Internet in every lesson.’ To what extent do you share this opinion? What other ways are there of making lessons effective for children?

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Learning through
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 is becoming a trend day by day
due to
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the
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its
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 availability
of
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apply
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it
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apply
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. A host of progressives believe that children can
study
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 in a better
way
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 with the
internet
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. I
am fully disagree
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fully disagree
show examples
 with the above statement . In
this
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 essay, I will explain
that
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apply
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why
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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 is not the only
way
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 for
pupil
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pupils
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 to
study
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 but other ways are
also
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 good for them.
To begin
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with
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with,
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 the prior view that why
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is the
way
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for
Change preposition
to
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 education. First and foremost, it is the easiest
way
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 nowadays. To explain it, as
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 provides thousands of applications that work with
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and helps the
student
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 in
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study
Add an article
the study
a study
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 through interesting audio and visual effects so, it is
the
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a
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 good
way
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 of
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
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. But because of some
demerits
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demerits,
show examples
 it is not the best
way
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, if a person
do
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does
show examples
 not have
the
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apply
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access
of
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to
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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then
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 how he or she can learn
the
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apply
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things.
For example
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,
you tube
Correct your spelling
youtube
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,
chatgpt
Correct your spelling
ChatGPT
, google and many more apps
that
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apply
show examples
can describe the topics in a very fine
way
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 because it provides
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of
source
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sources
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 from where kids can learn new things in
simple
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a simple
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 manner.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some fake sites that provide
the
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apply
show examples
false information to them.
Therefore
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,
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is not the best
way
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 to
study
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. Considering the
another ways
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another way
other ways
show examples
, teachers can teach the
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 with the aid of creativity. To express, when guides create games for teaching the tutees, they can learn in superior methods and never
forgot
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forget
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 the lessons.
Besides
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it
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apply
show examples
, tutors can focus more on practical knowledge
instead
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 of theatrical
Information
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The information
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it
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apply
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not only
make
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makes
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 the concept easier for them but
it
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apply
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also
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 helps the
student
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 to improve their remembering power.
For instance
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, it is seen in most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
schools that the students who have practical knowledge more
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then
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than
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 theoretical knowledge they have
get
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got
show examples
 good results in
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the exam
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exam
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exams
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as well as
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 in their future goals. In conclusion, even though
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
make
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makes
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
things easier by providing distinct results for one thing
yet
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apply
show examples
other ways are more effective because
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student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 can clear their doubt by asking questions from their teacher.

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your stance and the main points you will discuss in your essay. This helps the reader understand your opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by using clearer transitions between your points. Phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'For example' can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments. For instance, when discussing creativity in teaching, mention specific games or methods that have proven effective.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion against the use of the internet as the sole educational tool.
task achievement
You recognize both the advantages and disadvantages of internet use in education, demonstrating critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • abundant source,
  • multimedia resources
  • reliance
  • misleading information
  • tactile learning
  • hands-on activities
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • interactive group activities
  • physical activity
  • outdoor learning experiences
  • child development
  • educational technology
  • interactive whiteboards
  • educational apps
  • virtual reality
  • digital literacy
  • credible sources
What to do next:
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